Journals - Muke

6.5

*luke's pov*

i stared at the coffee sat in front of me. it's been a month since michael's been in a coma. yes, the doctor said he would've woken up in a few hours or the next day, but michael didn't fight hard enough.

i ripped opened a raw sugar package, then stirred it into my coffee. i blew some of it until it cooled down.

i can't believe michael hasn't woken up. he was such a fighter, but now he's giving up. i sip my coffee and try my best not to cry.

i wonder how it's like to be in a coma, how it's like not to be able to wake up. i pulled my hair and drank more of the coffee, then i slipped my coat back on and went out the door, back home.

i sat on the couch, turning on the tv.

the boys and i never went on tour, considering i never wanted to get up from bed until michael was awake and right next to me. i went back into my drinking habits and honestly all i think about is michael.

the fans understood, at least most of them. the others were so upset and said harsh things which didn't help me either.

i miss michael so much. the way he would stick out his tongue in every photo i took, or he would cross his eyes and mess up his hair on purpose. i miss the way he would cuddle me closely and whisper the things he loved about me before he fell asleep. i miss the way he kissed. oh, how he kissed.

it was so sweet and delicate. he always caressed my cheek, like as if i meant everything to him. he would sit on my lap and kiss me passionately.

it felt like it was just us and no one else, nothing else.

god, i miss him so much. my little mikey. my other half.

sometimes i laid on his side of the bed, his pillow always smelled like him. i miss our late night cuddles where we both couldn't sleep so we would stay up talking and giggling until it was past 1 am. 

"lukey, do you think we'll ever get married?" michael looked up from my chest, then cuddled and nuzzled right after.

i sighed and pet his hair and nodded, "of course michael, i would love to spend the rest of my life with you."

i felt a smile against my chest which made me smile too. i lifted up his chin and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, then i wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled. "you're mine forever," i say.

i smile to myself and so does he.

michael has to wake up, he can't just leave right?

i want michael again, i want to see him smile and blush, i want to see him in my arms again, hopefully i will soon.

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too short but hello the ending is v soon