The Charade

Epilogue (ii)~ The Yearning

[He is beti-paglu]

A D H I K R I T

"Kashi," I called out, nearly shouting as I watched her pace around with her nine-month baby bump. She wasn't listening to me at all. I'd been telling her nonstop to stop walking around for no reason, but she just kept going, acting as though nothing mattered.

Finally, she stopped and turned to face me, those pretty eyes of hers making me feel guilty for being so harsh.

"Dad, you should be ashamed," Reyaan remarked as he passed by the room, then disappeared down the hall.

I rubbed my temples, already exhausted.

Alongside Kashi, I felt mentally drained. This pregnancy was nothing like Reyaan's.

"Haan, haan, mujhse pyar nahi karte ho aap ab," Kashi muttered, rolling her eyes. I shook my head, done with her drama for the moment.

[You don't love me anymore.]

But honestly, I couldn't stay mad at her—she's my wife, and on top of that, she's carrying my baby.

"Kashi," I said more softly this time, walking toward her and gently holding her arm to stop her. "Bas karo. Please."

[Please stop.]

She shrugged off my hand like I was some stranger. "Touch bhi mat kijiye mujhe. Waise bhi, I'm the bad person now because I forced you to keep this baby?" Her eyes welled up and I swear my heart fucking broke.

[Don't touch me. Anyway, I'm the bad person now because I forced you to keep this baby?]

I never wanted this. Not like this.

I sat on the edge of the bed, burying my face in my palms. "Kashi, I told you from the beginning... I wasn't ready for another baby. Not because I didn't want more with you. But because I knew... I knew I wouldn't be able to take it—seeing you like this again."

I glanced up at her. Her face was flushed, her back slightly arched from the weight of our child inside her. She looked exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted.

"You were in so much pain last time, sweetheart. And now Reyaan—he's a handful, a storm on legs—and we're barely managing him. I didn't want you going through this again while he's still growing up."

She sat beside me with a thump, pouting like a child. "Toh aap bol rahe ho ki galti meri hai?"

[You mean, it's my fault?]

"No!" I immediately turned to her, cupping her face. "It's no one's fault. I just wish I was stronger. More... capable. I should've handled this better, but I've been so scared, Kashi. So damn scared of losing you. You think I don't love you?" I pulled her close, cupping her jaw, I brushed my thumb across her cheek. She was pretty, so pretty that it makes me want to stare at her the whole day. I gulped. "I'm just tired of pretending I'm not terrified every single day."