The Delivery Girl

41. Hallway

Julie

I knock on the door, and it almost immediately swings open. Casey and Mei both come crashing into me with a bone crushing group hug before I can say a word.

The tightness in my chest eases as I sink into the arms of two of my favourite people in the world. The disappointment doesn't vanish, but it's dulled by the people I'll love unconditionally for the rest of my life.

"That piece of shit," Casey mutters as they pull away. "Come inside." We all head into Casey's small apartment.

"Are you ok, sis?" Mei asks, gently squeezing my hand.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "What are you doing here?"

Casey chuckles. "I called her right after you called me. I thought you could use the extra support."

Mei nods. "Got here as fast as I could."

I manage to choke out a small laugh. "I love you guys."

–

We sit on Casey's fluffy living room rug, each with a bowl of ice cream.

I show them the texts on my phone. Both of their faces are twisted in disgust.

"I wasn't surprised that he got caught up at work... honestly, I was expecting it. I just didn't think he'd be that late." I feel my face heating up in embarrassment. Did I really sit in that restaurant, alone, for nearly an hour? "I feel pathetic."

"Hey, no, don't. He's the one who should feel pathetic," Casey says, grabbing my hand. "A guy would have to be out of his mind to stand you up."

"Have you spoken to him since?" Mei asks.

I shake my head. "He called a few times but I didn't pick up." I think for a moment and sigh. "It's just... I know he didn't have bad intentions. He has the pressure of a multi million dollar company sitting on his shoulders. How can I be mad at that? I just don't know what that means for me. I don't know if I can blame him for putting me second."

Mei gives me a sad smile. "Julie... you've put yourself second your whole life." She scoots over and leans against me. "You walked me to school everyday when I was little, even when it made you late. You stayed up late studying because you helped me with my homework first. Dad thinks I'm perfect because you took the blame for my mistakes."

"Same with me," Casey chimes in. "You lost hours and hours of sleep when I called you in the middle of the night, having panic attacks. You think I would've gotten into med school without you?"

I sit there quietly, at a loss for words. Those things had always felt like my responsibility as a friend and sister to help them out. I guess I've always been hard on myself – it felt like everything I did had to be done perfectly. It never occurred to me how much of myself I had sidelined to do them.

"You've sacrificed so much, Julie. I don't remember mom very well, but I always had you there for me," Mei says softly. "Now it's your turn to prioritize yourself. Don't put yourself second to Callen's company."

"Yeah, you deserve to be chosen." Casey gives me a reassuring smile.

Their words feel raw, unfamiliar. "I'm not angry," I finally say, "but I'm not ready to respond to Callen's messages. "I need some space. Some time to feel like myself again."

Casey chuckles. "Easy enough."

–

We're halfway through Sleepless in Seattle when there's knocking on the door.