The Delivery Girl

38. Friendlier

Julie

When I stay over, I normally wake up to the soft sounds of keyboard tapping. I'll find Callen sitting up in bed next to me, already on his laptop and immersed in his work.

This time, however, I wake up, feeling the warmth and weight of Callen's arms around me. The comforting feeling of his body pressed against mine. I groggily peel my eyes open and look up at him.

He's awake, staring off into the distance. I recognize the look – brows furrowed with sort of a frown. He's likely thinking about work.

"Morning," I whisper.

The worry melts away, at least temporarily, and he gives me a soft smile. "Morning," he says, kissing my forehead. "Did you sleep ok?"

I nod, stretching a bit. Compared to my lumpy twin bed and old blanket, Callen's king sized memory foam mattress with silk sheets is unbelievably comfortable. I imagine this is what sleeping on a cloud feels like.

"What time is it?" I ask.

He checks his phone. "Just about six. Do you want to stay home today?"

I raise my eyebrows – how did I manage to sleep for ten hours? I shake my head. "I have office hours, plus you needed me to process your invoices by today."

He chuckles and runs his fingers through my hair. "Don't forget, I'm your boss. If anyone can give you a break, it's me. I'll get Hayley to handle those."

I feel my stomach churn. It's the irony that that was what had set all of this off in the first place. Though I know that isn't the full truth, I can't blame Callen. Dad and I were never close – losing mom did nothing but widen that gap. I knew we were bound to have a fight one day that would lead to a breaking point.

I groan and bury my face into his chest. "You can't give me special treatment, Callen," I grumble.

He laughs sheepishly. "Ok, ok, sorry. I'll drop you off on my way to work."

–

I finish brushing my teeth and washing my face. I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to ignore how exhausted I look. I'm generally good at bottling up my feelings, but last night really was the last straw.

I'm still in disbelief that this was how it finally happened. I always thought it would be some catastrophic event. Like I finally snapped and robbed a bank or something.

But no.

It was over a guy.

Callen.

It hits me hard; the realization of how important he really is to me. How closely his life is intertwined with mine. The vulnerability of giving so much of myself to someone else is terrifying, no matter how much I love them. I've been trying to ignore the thought, but it looks like the universe really wants me to face it.

I decide it's too early in the morning to have a full blown mental crisis – I have responsibilities I can't just ignore.

As I'm about to leave, a memory surfaces and I freeze.

Last night is a blur but there's one thing I distinctly remember.

Did I really say the L word?

–

I help Ivan set up his equipment on the roof. The morning November air is freezing, but it's a welcome distraction from my running thoughts.

"Why are we up here again?" I ask, looking over at the poor models huddled around the portable heater. "Couldn't a green screen have sufficed?"