The Delivery Girl

66. Shout out

Julie

My brain feels like it's filled to the brim by the time it's five o'clock. Lawrence gave me a tour of the office, I met dozens of people, and I've already been assigned my first project. Everything sort of blurs together. I keep nodding at the right moments and hoping no one notices how hard I'm trying to just keep up.

I zip up my bag and stand up. The three cubicles around me are the rest of the software team. I notice our two senior engineers are still working.

Baljit sees me looking at him and smiles. "George and Lawrence and I tend to stay late, but there's no obligation to." His tone is casual, like it's just a part of life, rather than a choice.

"Yeah, you should head home and get some rest, Julie," George adds. "You must be tired."

I nod but it gets the gears in my mind whirring. Is that how to get ahead? It's definitely too early to talk about promotions but it wouldn't hurt to show I'm dedicated. To show I can keep pace.

"Got it, see you all tomorrow then," I say, trying to sound much more awake than I feel.

I stop by Lawrence's office. "Hi Lawrence, I'm headed out now."

He looks up from his computer and gives me a bright smile. "Hey Julie, great work today. Hope we didn't overload you," he says and chuckles. "Take care."

I leave the building and head towards my car. Despite how worn out I feel, there's a quiet satisfaction sitting underneath it all. A little overwhelmed, but happy – like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

–

Just as I park in the driveway and get out of my car, Callen pulls up behind me. Something about his smile immediately dissipates my stress. It's become automatic now, my body reacts before my mind can catch up.

"Hey," I say and hug him. "I missed you."

He kisses the top of my head. "I missed you too." We lace hands and head inside, fingers intertwining like it's the most natural thing in the world.

We sit down at the dining table and our chef places our dishes in front of us.

"So how was your first day? What did you get up to?"

I realize I've never really explained to Callen what my job is. I also realize he's never asked. I swallow back whatever feelings that thought starts to stir.

"Pretty good. Blink is a newer browser so I'll be mostly working on building and implementing new features." I walk Callen through my day – settling in, emails, projects, meetings. As I talk, I realize how much it sounds like I'm already used to it, even though I'm panicking a little internally.

"Wow, sounds busy. Are you enjoying it?"

"It's a bit overwhelming," I admit. I nudge my food around with my fork. I find myself not having much of an appetite. "But it's exciting to do something new. I'm looking forward to learning more."

Everyone on the team seems highly knowledgeable and capable, but that also makes it hard to not want to compare myself to them. I don't feel intimidated, it's more like a quiet pressure building in the background. I want to learn and grow as quickly as possible to catch up.

Callen leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

–

Weeks fly by and I find myself settled into my new routine. The new employee stage fades, things become more structured. I'm given more independence and responsibility. It feels good to be trusted.