The Delivery Girl

48. Hypocrite

Julie

I skim the email Lawrence sent over yesterday. It's the job description for a software engineer position at Blink. The responsibilities seem typical, nothing out of the ordinary that an average programmer couldn't do.

I know I shouldn't get ahead of myself, it's not like I'm guaranteed this job. But Lawrence mentioned he and Dr. Kim are old friends. She apparently spoke very highly of me when he asked. I'm proud she has faith in me, but it also adds another layer of pressure.

I continue reading. The insurance and health benefits are generous, there's a matching pension program, plenty of vacation days, and the salary is just over a hundred thousand. It's exactly what I was looking for. Exactly what I thought I wanted. It's what's always been in the plan.

But then, why is there this empty, hollow feeling in my chest? The feeling of uneasiness in my stomach that I can't shake off.

–

Hayley and I sit at the boardroom table as Callen explains the final showcase event to the interns.

"You'll pick your two favourite photos you've taken during your internship here and they'll be displayed in the gallery. People from the industry will be attending, so this is your chance to socialize and make connections."

He's been trying lately, I can tell. Using a friendlier tone, smiling occasionally. But the moment he slips into professional mode, he reverts back to his serious self. The version of him that belongs to the company. "Interns from previous cohorts have gone on to work at notable publications and other major companies thanks to the show," he adds.

The interns buzz with excitement. Something sharp twists in my chest, and I try to push the feeling down – even though it lingers anyway. It's the same, aching, hollow feeling again. It's the voice in my head, questioning whether I'm even on the path I want, or just the one that was laid out years ago.

"Any questions?" he asks.

Rob is the first to raise his hand. "Will Sterling Studios staff be there? I'd love to show off my work to the people who taught us."

"A handful of us, yes."

"Who specifically?" Isabella asks quietly.

"That's to be decided, it'll depend on availability."

I watch as Callen fiddles with his pen and checks his watch. He's getting antsy to leave. He has a meeting on the other side of the city that he wouldn't tell me about. Maybe some super high profile client. Something important enough to hide from me.

A few more hands go up. Callen glances at me from the corner of his eyes for a split second. A silent cue.

I quickly chime in. "Please email any more questions you have to me or Hayley, and we'll get back to you," I say. "Thank you Mr. Sterling."

"Thank you everyone." Callen picks up his laptop and gives us a brief nod. "Miss Leong. Hayley."

I keep my voice light. "Mr. Sterling."

He quickly slips out first. As I begin packing up my things, I notice Hayley frowning at me from across the table.

She turns towards the last intern leaving the room. "Close the door behind you. Jacob, you get out too."

"Hey," Jacob protests, "I don't take orders from you."

She glares at him. "Out. Now."

He mutters something under his breath, but leaves. The door clicks shut and the room immediately falls silent. The air feels heavier somehow. Hayley's eyes are sharp, focused straight at me.