The Delivery Girl

53. Growing

Callen

Julie: What's this?

I stare at my phone for a moment before replying, my thumb hovering over the send button like I might change my mind.

Callen: Two tickets to Mexico. One week at the nicest all inclusive resort money can buy

Julie: Really? What about work?

Callen: I'm taking time off. It's a week after your graduation ceremony so you'll be free, right?

I exhale slowly, fighting the familiar feeling of guilt and obligation in my chest. I haven't taken a proper vacation since becoming CEO. Hayley had simply rolled her eyes when I expressed my concern. I've been saying for years, Callen, it'll be fine. The world isn't going to fall apart if you step away for a week.

A few minutes pass before she responds again. I can picture her carefully turning the idea in her head.

Julie: Are you sure?

The question tightens something in my stomach. Fear. Fear that if I hesitate, I'll prove every worry she has about me right.

Callen: Absolutely

–

I finish up a meeting just as Julie walks in.

"Hey Julie," I say and begin to stand up. I immediately wince as the dull pain radiates through my body again, stealing the air from my lungs. My hands grip onto the edge of the desk to support myself, jaw tightening as I try to play it off. I knew my first day back would be bad, but not this bad.

Julie immediately sees through my act. "Sit," she scolds and rushes over. She grabs my arm and helps ease me back into my chair. "The doctor said to take it easy, remember?"

"Right." I sigh.

The days spent in the hospital were agonizingly endless. I insisted to every doctor who walked in the room that I was fine, but they still wanted to monitor me. I had to fight the urge to ask Julie to bring me my laptop so I could work.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home? How have you been this morning?"

"Mostly fine. I work at a desk, not a coal mine, Julie. I sit for most of the day." I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, but her lips stay pressed into a tight line. "The doctor said I was good to return to work," I add.

"You're right. But let me know if you need anything." She bends down and kisses me lightly on the cheek, soft and careful, like she's afraid of hurting me. Or perhaps afraid of something else.

As she walks back to her desk, I notice it again. A stiffness in the way she's moving. Hesitation like she's bracing herself. Something's off. "Julie? Everything ok?"

She turns around slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Julie."

She shifts her weight back and forth. "I... I did that interview this morning," she says quietly, looking away from me. "I wasn't planning to. Lawrence called, said he was on campus for something and had some time to spare if I was around."

I swallow. "How did it go?"

She shrugs a little, and I see a brief, nervous smile. "Honestly...it went well. Didn't have any trouble with the coding problems he gave me."

Part of me swells with pride, the other part aches with worry. She's starting the next step of her journey, and I'm terrified of which direction she might be headed in. But I remind myself – it's not my choice to make.