HEART AT WAR [PART 2 OF A&B] [CSM]

you wanted me a certain way, but i said FUCK YOU anyway

Your eyes lock with Quanxi's, a gentle gust of wind flowing against you. It's almost as if nature is warning you, using wind as guidance.

"I didn't know you hated concerts this much." The hybrid's grasp on her sword is firm, giving you an idea of her intentions.

"Do you think I left because of the concert?"

"Can't think of much else."

Your right hand hovers near your abdomen.

"I wanted to do my job."

"We gave you a leash for a reason."

As your eyebrows twitch, your hand lingers further up. Quanxi begins to unsheathe one of her swords, her head angling downward ever so slightly.

Your hand stops, your mouth giving a quick reply.

"Wh-" You stutter before continuing. "..What reason?" You ask, as if you don't know.

"Mind explaining the civilian you killed?"

"WHAT CIVILIAN?!" The yell leaves your throat, her hand gripping onto it to stop anything else from escaping.

"GHHKK!" Your hands grasp onto her wrist as your toes struggle to touch the ground. She tilts her head, leaning closer.

"Again and again.. you don't listen."

"I-I, JUST.. WANTED.. T-TO.. DO MY.. MY JOB!"

"I know."

"L-LET.. ME.. GO!" You yell, squinting your eyes shut. Quanxi drops you, squatting down to your level. She sheathes her sword, letting go of the handle and resting her wrist on her knee.

"You wanting to do your job ended in you killing someone?"

"I DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY! NOBODY! WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ACTING LIKE I'M DANGEROUS?!" Palms pressed against your eyes, your voice booming between your wrists.

"You're in denial.. you are dangerous. I shouldn't have let you out of my sight."

Your eyebrows furrow, your lip beginning to quiver.

Lowering your arms, you look directly into her eye as you hold the back of your hand in your palm.

"..Quanxi."

Her face remains still, the only moment a slight tilt of her head.

"I'm in denial.. right?"

"There's no denying murder."

"Ignorance is bliss, right?"

Her eye gently widens, a subtle change in expression.

"Every time.. every time I'd ask about Asa, whenever I pried about that devil, when I wanted to know WHY all of it happened, it didn't matter. It was done and over with, right? It's all OVER, right?!" You grit your teeth near the end of your sentence. "You want me to be IGNORANT, you want me to IGNORE, DENY, THROW IT ALL AWAY, RIGHT?! WELL, HERE IT IS! I DID NOTHING! I DIDN'T KILL HER!" Starting to get up, you clench your fists.

"Everywhere I look, it's a reminder of D-DAY! The mirror, the devils I encounter, the poor saps I meet on the street, roughed up buildings, YOU, any ASSHOLE I have to deal with, Stone, Guppy, people who SEEM to care about me like DEDE, my MOM, maybe even KISHIBE! EVERYTHING! IT ALL REMINDS ME!" Inching closer, your hands slam against your chest.

"IF YOU WANT ME TO FORGET, IF YOU WANT IGNORANCE, KILL ME! I CAN'T LIVE BLIND AND DEAF, IT'S EVERYWHERE I GO! END MY LIFE AND LEAVE ME BE, LET ME ROT IN HELL! HAH, OH, BETTER YET, IF I LAND BACK ON EARTH, AT LEAST TAKE ME IN AS A BABY! MAKE SURE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BEING HUMAN, NOTHING THAT WOULD HURT ME, NOTHING THAT WOULD BRING ME JOY, NOTHING TO EXPERIENCE!" You grip onto her shirt collar, dragging her to eye level.