Temporary Nanny

Chapter 18

Today's a big day in the Clifford household. With Stella nearly rounding a year Michael and I agreed it was a good time to try that daycare.

It was something we spent countless days and hours discussing. With work picking up for me, and Karen constantly driving back and forth it just seemed like a good choice.

However we're still not taking her a full week. I don't think either of us could take that and even though we'd like her to get used to not having one of us around, we'd still like to ease her into that.

Stella's dressed and ready in one of her new outfits and although I much prefer her in one of her band onesies she looks undoubtably adorable.

Michael's been a nervous wreck since the day before, hardly getting any sleep and keeping me up with rambled worries and second thoughts. Karen's called at least 20 times just to double check then triple check we've got everything.

Mia's texted more than my phone can handle coming in so many at a time that it even crashes a couple times. And me, well, I had to keep my head on straight.

I had to be the one to reassure everyone everything was going to be fine and we weren't going to forget anything. Which was good. It was a good distraction and made it a lot easier not to freak out. However, it also made it about 100 times worst when dropping her off.

It all hits me at once and I'm overcome with this tight-chested feeling. When Stella starts wailing like she's become accustomed to it's Michael that is reassuring me with comforting coos.

"Oh god, maybe this was a bad idea. She's going to hate me now." I worry once one of the nice daycare ladies take the screaming baby to a play room. "Charlie, she's fine. She'll stop crying soon and realize she's alright." Michael says soft and fond.

"She doesn't know we're coming back. What if she thinks we left her? What if we're scarring her for life right now? She'll have trust issues with anyone she meets." I pace with a hand on my forehead. "I can't do it. I can't leave her. She'll hate me forever." I gnaw at my lip.

"Charlie, breathe. She isn't going to hate you. She's not even a year old yet, I don't think she'll remember this when she's older." Michael continues his assurance.

"Okay then what if she likes the people here more than me? What if she comes home and decides she's bored with me?" A new set of worries take over. "Not possible." Michael responds sure of himself.

"She'll never say my name now. She wont even know who I am!" My heart drops with the ridiculous thought. "She isn't going to forget you Charlie. You're literally her favorite person ever."

It semi-helps but not quite because there's still so much worry coursing through every last fiber of my being.

"Look, see? She's fine." Michael points to the two way mirror. I walk over to stand next to him, looking through the big thick glass to see Stella no longer crying.

Instead, she is warily looking around at all the other commotion. She doesn't look the most comfortable but she also doesn't look upset anymore. It's kind of bitter sweet.

I'm glad she's fine and not screaming her lungs out anymore but maybe part of me is also slightly offended with how quick she was to forget to miss me.

"Breathe." Michael nudges my shoulder gently. "Just remember, you can come get her anytime during the day and just because she isn't crying doesn't mean she isn't missing you." His gray eyes are soft and caring and I'm honestly so glad he knows me well enough to know just what to say to make the worries go away.

"I don't think I can make it the whole day." I admit quietly. "I know you wont." I small smile playing at his pink lips.

We stand there a few minutes longer, watching Stella slowly start to get less wary of the people around her.