Please Don't Save Me [BkDk]

Is It All Going To Be Okay..?

IZUKU POV: (Chapter 15)
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!!TW!!
Swearing
Blood
Mentions of self-harm
Mentions of attempted suicide
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Is the light finally here to take me? Can I finally have moment of peace? Is it all I've ever asked for? Am I...finally free...?

The light blinded me almost instantly. I'm not dead... I opened my eyes once more, they felt heavy and tired. Once so full of brightness now only lays exhaustion.

Sighing gently; I let my eyes adjust to the light once more, the familiar ticking of the clock ringing through my mind like a trick the brain plays. It didn't feel real at all, it felt like a dream, everything always felt like a dream. Yet for some reason something felt different, something about the glowing lights and the same bright white, the way that the movements of people seemed so ethereal compared to the other times.  

My mind confused me, I didn't really understand why it felt different this time, I've been here multiple times, every attempt, the same room. Always the same hospital. Nothing made sense, not like anything ever made sense before this, it seemed more complex for no reason. It wasn't like an obstacle that needed beating, a puzzle that needed solving. Maybe the universe finally understood it was mind that needed changing.

Or maybe it was something about the way that there was this stupidly warm and nurturing atmosphere that surrounded me. I was sure of the fact they knew me by name at this point, the constant attention, the escape, it really made sense. But I was particularly surprised they hadn't transferred me by now because of my behavior, I guess it would leave a bad reputation though considering that they are the top hospital in Musutafu. I couldn't deny the guilt I felt from how much money they had to have been spending on me to try keep me alive every time. 

Maybe that's a good thing  

What? A new voice? It's distant but I can still hear it...Is it nice? It sounds nice...and familiar...

Hii!! It's nice to finally talk to you, sorry if I confused or startled you for a minute there!!

Umm...hello, what do you mean a good thing?

I mean that maybe it's a good thing you're still alive!

A...good thing?

Yeah, a good thing! Have you ever thought about your friends?

My...friends?

Yeah, your friends! Have you thought about your friends during this time?

Umm...well I guess but-

Have you thought about how hurt they are that you are hurting yourself?

Well no...but they're better off without me, I just get in the way-

But have you ever thought of the possibility that's not really what they want. Have you ever thought that they want to spend time with you not in the hospital?

Well...I haven't been apart that much, I've only been in the hospital-

4 times! Every attempt you had to be admitted again so technically it was 4 times!

Oh...well that's still not a lot...

It is to others my darling Izuku, don't worry, you will be fine! You will get the help you deserve.

Help...? I'm going to get help...? Actual help...?

Until next time dear Izuku, I don't know when, but I will see you again Izuku, I promise. But until then make sure to take care of yourself, okay?