How To Be Insane

Session 3

Property of Krankzinnig Asylum for the Criminally Insane

Patient 2237- Session 3

Dr Mendoza

Video Transcript

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Patient 2237 is alone in the therapy room. She is making faces into the camera. They are. . . grotesque. Human faces should not be able to move in the way hers is now. 

. . . how can her eyebrows move that much?

Dr Mendoza enters, dressed in the normal doctor's attire of furry pants and leather boots. However, he doesn't have his white coat on, which Patient 2237 immediately notices.

Patient 2237: Why aren't you wearing your coat?

Dr Mendoza: That's not a question I have to answer.

Patient 2237: Quietly. I liked your coat. . .

Dr Mendoza: Are you ready now to uphold your end of the deal?

Patient 2237 leans forward.

Patient 2237: Yes. My first name is Malicia.

Dr Mendoza: And your second?

Malicia: Don't know. 

Dr Mendoza: How can you not know?

Malicia: I think. . that's a little private, don't you think. I don't know you that well and after you yelled at me last week. . .

Dr Mendoza: I'm sorry about last week. In these sessions you are welcome to be completely honest and know that anything said in these sessions is just between me and you.

Malicia: She tilts her head to the side and makes a face. Is it though?

Dr Mendoza: What do you mean?

Malicia: Let's not even go into those little meetings you have with your lickle doctor friends about how to treat me. Let's talk about that little email you sent to. . darling Erica. Malicia leans forward again and whispers. In my opinion. . you're a very good doctor. Don't give up this case on my account-

Dr Mendoza: How do you know about that?

Malicia: She holds up a hand to shush him. Didn't they teach you in shrink school not to interrupt?

Dr Mendoza: That is a breach of my privacy. How did you access my private emails?

Malicia: Erica is very pretty. 

There's a long, drawn out pause.

Dr Mendoza: What?

Malicia: In your office, there's lots of photos of you with. . .her. Her voice is dreamy. All framed with pretty frames. And she's so. . . Malicia licks her lips. . .beautiful. Just like that woman I told you about last week. Do you remember?

Dr Mendoza: You've been in my OFFICE? How.  . ?

Malicia: She taps the side of her nose. Trade secret.

Dr Mendoza: I. . . I. . . You can't just go into my office! Hell, you shouldn't even be out of your cell without at least three guards

Malicia: They do take a lot of trouble for little sweet me. . .

Dr Mendoza: Look, I'm going to have to look into this. I don't think it's a good idea to continue therapy until this has been sorted.

Malicia: I just have one question, Mendy.

Dr Mendoza: I've told you to call me Dr Mendoza.

Malicia: Why aren't you wearing your white coat?

Dr Mendoza doesn't answer. 

Malicia: Is it because I. . told you I liked it. She grins at the doctor. Am I 'getting to you'? She makes mocking quotation marks in the air around 'getting to you'. Ugh. . . you're kind of. . . whiny, doctor. You know. . . I feel sorry for Erica having to bang an pathetic little wanker like you. Unless. . . 

The doctors voice has gone strange and a little high-pitched as he rolls up his sleeves.

Dr Mendoza: That's it. 

The camera clicks off as Patient 2237 starts to laugh. 

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A note from us

Hi, if you're enjoying reading the dark secrets of Krankzinnig Asylum and hopefully really pissing their board of directors off as well. I hope we're especially pissing off the owner, Darren I'm-So-Rich-And-Generous Daniels. Man, we really, really hate that guy. 

If you would like to help us piss him off even more by filling his private swimming pool with frog eyes then please consider leaving us a vote or a comment. That'd be really awesome ;)

--------FUN FACT--------------

Darren Daniels is an asshat

And we hate him.

Soooooooooooo much.

Like really, so much it makes us want to eat his eyeballs.  And we're allergic to human eyeballs. That's how much we hate him.

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