How To Be Insane

Session 5

Property of Krankzinnig Asylum for the Criminally Insane

Patient 2237- Session 5

Dr Mendoza

---------------

Malicia doesn't have a straitjacket on this week, and her black eye is almost gone.

Dr Mendoza: Today I thought we'd do something a little different

Malicia: What a treat. . .

Dr Mendoza: I would like to talk about your childhood and see where your anti-social personality disorder is coming from, okay?

Malicia: She shrugs. Sure, whatever.

Dr Mendoza: I would like you to tell me your earliest memory.

Malicia sits back in her chair and thinks. Suddenly, she leans forward, staring intently at the doctor

Malicia: Do you want the important early memory, or the earliest.

Dr Mendoza: . . .let's hear both, if that's okay with you

Malicia: She gives him a strange look. You're being very. . polite today. Are you taking those anger management sessions like I told you? She leans forward and whispers conspiratorially. I can see the difference already.

Dr Mendoza: You're getting off-topic, Malicia.

Malicia: Okay. Okay. My earliest memory- it's kind of cliche so I'm not sure if I just. . .made it up or dreamed it or something but. I'm lying, probably in a crib because I can. . .see. . .the bars above me. And past the bars, are my parents. My beautiful, loving parents. You know. .I've never met anyone who smelled quite as lovely as my mother. She smelt of lemons, hot chocolate and. . .rot.

My Dad just smelled of woodsmoke and sweat, but it was a good smell too.

So that's it, I see my parents looking down at me and I know that they love me.

Dr Mendoza: Do you love them?

Malicia shrugs.

Malicia: I did. I think. . . Probably.

Dr Mendoza: You're unsure?

Malicia: Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer. . .

Dr Mendoza: He clears his throat. Sorry. Shall we move on to the other memory?

Malicia smiles. It does not reach her eyes. Her eyes are like dead shells, staring endlessly at an empty world.

Malicia: I was six, maybe seven, I don't know. We, me and my parents, were driving someplace. I think we were leaving Krankzinnig. Dad kept saying things like:

"That place is evil."

"No place to raise a child."

"We are all doomed, drawn to the cliff of the mortal coil and prepared to shuffle off it and drop to our ends."

That last one he said a lot anyway. I'm not sure if it was about why we were leaving Krankzinnig. But we were, and we were on the only road out of town when we crashed into something. I didn't see what it was and it was gone in the second after the crash. But, it doesn't matter what it was, does it? What matters is that my parents, my parents, were crushed.

The front of our car folded up like the metal was a towel. The airbags hadn't deployed- obviously we didn't have airbags because they were illegal- and my Mum was pierced through with a shard of twisted metal. Blood was running like a river down her sodden top and pooling in the newly created crevices of silver steel.

My Dad wasn't dead. For my Mum, it was over in a second. My Dad took a lot longer to die. His legs were trapped under the steering wheel, mangled and flowing with rich redness. I crawled into the front of the car. He was screaming, screaming then panting then screaming again. I cried and clung to him but he ignored me and carried on acknowledging his impressive pain.

It turns out, my father was a coward. I'll never know what my Mum was, but I suspect she would have been no better.

Most people are cowards when they realize they're going to die. I know that now.

I sat with my parents in the front seat of our car until the police found us. They seemed to expect the crash, which I never thought about until years later. Now I know why we crashed and why I didn't see what hit us. We were trying to leave Krankzinnig. And no-one leaves Krankzinnig once they arrive.

Patient 2237 falls silent. For the first time, she seems perturbed by what she's just said. Dr Mendoza latches onto that.

Dr Mendoza: How does that make you feel?

Malicia doesn't answer. She just gives Dr Mendoza a long, cold stare.

He relents.

Dr Mendoza: Tell me about what happened next, what happened to your father?

Malicia: My father was dead when the police arrived. Somehow I think they were ordered to arrive when the parents were dead. Only reason I was alive was because I hadn't died yet and I was still a child. They put me in the orphanage and I lived there until I was old enough to leave.

You remember when the orphanage burned down?

Dr Mendoza: Yes. . .

Malicia: She smiles proudly. That was me. I took every single person I hated in there and locked them in the attic rooms. Then I set the fire and left. It was. . . a great. . .day. I can still hear them screaming. . . She smiles dreamily.

Dr Mendoza: Well. . . thank you Malicia. You've done very well this session. I think it might be a good idea to end it here for today.

Malicia: Whatever you say, doc.

Dr Mendoza: Before we do though, I wanted to let you know I've altered your medication slightly and you might develop some mild headaches while your body adjusts. If they don't disappear within three days, let me know and I'll lower your dosage.

Malicia tilts her head and squints at the doctor.

Malicia: Are you feeling alright? You're being. . awfully. .nice.

Dr Mendoza: He sounds tired. You are my patient, Malicia. My priority is to make sure you get better.

Malicia: So you've dropped the yelling and beating me up tactic, have you? That's good to hear.

Dr Mendoza: Yes. It's definitely time to end the session.

The camera clicks off.

-----------------

A note from us

Hey, if you're enjoying this weird, weird collection of secrets and memory then please consider leaving us a vote or a comment. We'd really like that. We spend hours upon creepy hours reading all of the comments you leave us over and over again.

You wouldn't want to deprive us of that joy, would you?

---FUN FACT------------

All cribs in Krankzinnig are like cages, with bars at the sides and top. This is to stop any mutating babies from leaping out of the crib and killing their parents. Also, it makes for some cute art photographs of babies in cages, so it's a win-win situation really.

-----------------------------