How To Be Insane

Oh Dear Doctor

The following is security footage from one of the newly working cameras. This particular camera shows a pretty decent quality feed of Dr Mendoza's office.

He is sat at his desk, dutifully working through some papers. Occasionally, he glances up at the camera and screws up his face in a confused manner. It's hard to tell what he means by it, but he does it all the same.

The door opens and three board members enter. They are identical androgynous people in identical suits. They have the blank expressions of people who have had their personality removed (a popular punishment for minor criminals that peaked a few years ago). They assemble in a line in front of Dr Mendoza's desk and wait patiently for him to look up.

His face is turned down to his paperwork, but his expression is strangely taught and his eyes are wild with unbridled fear. He is right to be afraid. Board members are known for their ruthlessness and unpredictability. They value money above all else and have a disregard for human life so great that the Druid Council has given up persecuting murders committed by them. 

When approached for comment on the decision, the Druid Council put forward the following, memorable statement, "Well. . . It's just so much WORK. You know? Catching the murderers, holding a trial for the murderers, locking the murderers up, performing illegal tests on murderers, using murderers as sacrifices in dark magics. It's just too much EFFORT. And like, we're SUPER BUSY. We have a TON of investments to take care of so. . ." Then the Druid Council representative looked meaningfully at the reporters until they took the hint and left. This took several hours. Neither journalists or television reporters are known for their ability to pick up on subtle social cues. 

Dr Mendoza eventually decides it is better to just face his fate head on and puts down his pen. To his credit, his voice only shakes a little as he says, "Gentle- uh- people."

"Good afternoon doctor," the board members say in unison, "We have a few things we need to discuss."

Dr Mendoza carefully clasps his hands on the desk, presumably to stop them shaking, "Absolutely. What can I do you for?"

"Nothing. We would not do you for any price."

Dr Mendoza lets out a nervous chuckle, "No, I meant, what can I do for you?"

This time it's the board members who let out a chuckle, "Oh I see. We got confused and thought you meant something else. Apologies. Anyway, we want to talk about Patient 2237. We feel you should step down as her doctor."

"What?"

"People are losing faith in this institution. With the leaked videos. . . No-one will fund us. We haven't had a request for a school trip or public comedy tour in weeks. You know the ones- where people come to stand and laugh at the crazy people. You know- the ones you complain so much about. You know- the super lucrative ones? Without that money, we cannot run the asylum. You understand where we're coming from, don't you?"

"You want me to resign."

"Yes."

Dr Mendoza gets brave, "What if I don't want to resign?"

The board members all reach forward and crack their knuckles simultaneously, inches from Dr Mendoza's face, "If you do not resign, we will fire you. Literally."

Dr Mendoza nods, "I'll resign."

"We thought so. Be out of here by Friday."

"Yes."

The board members smile. At the sight, Dr Mendoza faints. With a swish of their coats, the board members are gone. 

The camera clicks off.

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A note from us

Have you ever thought about how big a lie stars are? Oh, they like to pretend they're all up there, twinkling away. We know the truth. 

The truth?

There is no truth.

Anyway, that aside, if you enjoy reading this then please consider clicking the little star button or sending us a comment. In fact, if you could do both, that'd be excellent. 

Why?

Oh. . . No reason. Hey, if you wanna find out, you should do those things. Then you'd know. And knowledge is power, right? And power is. . . something.

------FUN FACT-----

The Druid Council not only govern the town, but own all emergency services, most businesses, and several private beach resorts. They enjoy smearing, squeezing and hacking. 

If you meet a member of the Druid Council, it is best to just accept your imminent fate and try to forget how to feel pain. And itching. Forget how to feel itchy. Maybe. . . just forget everything, to be sure.

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