Tough Chance, Kid

The Only Exception

Today's November 25th. Emma, her brother and I came back to Maine to spend thanksgiving with mom and Maria. I'm sitting by the lake in the cold air. I rubbed my stomach and felt sadness shoot through my body. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Emma. She sat down beside me on the bench and grabbed my hand. I leaned my head on her shoulder and she sighed. "I miss him." I said, quietly. "I know baby. I do too." She said. I nodded against her shoulder and she sighed. I have a disease where if I give birth, it will most likely kill me and the baby. I didn't find out about it until I was 18 weeks along. So, they gave me a an option. I could wait and see how sick I get, or deliver our baby at 18 weeks and see if he could live. Even though most babies can't survive before 20 weeks. And they were right. Our baby boy died after a few hours. Doctors had to 'send' me into labor. He lived for 4 and a half hours, then died while Emma and I were holding him. I went back into my depression. So, I have to take antidepressants again. But, Emma's making me happy. So, that's okay I guess. We have our wedding planned. Saturday, December 5th. So, really soon. It's going to be here in Storybrooke. "The sad thing is.. Everyone thinks I'm fine when I'm actually falling apart." I said and my voice cracked. Emma tightened her arms around me and my tears broke free. "This isn't fucking fair." I sobbed. "I know. Believe me. I know." She said. I closed my eyes and she held onto me, tight.
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Today's December 3rd. We came back to LA to pick stuff up on the 28th. We're going back to Storybrooke tomorrow. "Regina!" I heard Emma shout. "Yeah babe?" I shouted and packed stuff. I've been feeling a lot better lately. "Regina!" Emma shouted and walked in. "Yes." I said and turned to her. She picked me up in a hug and spun me around. I laughed and she set me down. "What's going on?" I asked. "Babe.. I've been asked to perform with A Great Big World, Passenger, Ed Sheeran and a bunch of other people! Babe! I'm so excited!" She shouted. "Baby! That's so amazing!" I said. She nodded. "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity." She said. I nodded and kissed her. "I'm so happy for you." I said. She nodded. "When is it?" I asked. "It's the.." She started and her eyes went wide. "What?" I asked. "It's December 4th through the 6th." She said. My heart dropped. "But.. Our wedding.." I said. She sighed. "Babe... This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's really important to me." She said. "I-isn't our wedding really important to you?" I asked and felt tears building in my eyes. "No," she started and my tears fell down my cheeks. "I mean yes! It is! But, Regina, this concert could make me blow up! This could open up so many opportunities! Overseas tours. Everything!" She said. "S-so.. You're doing it." I said. "I have to." She said. "How are we supposed to be in a relationship when your career always comes first." I said. "Hey. Come on." She said. "No. You come on Emma. You spent the first 3 months of our relationship on tour." I said. "But I came back when you got raped! I was here with you!" She shouted. "What about when I got the stomach flu? Or when I had cramps so bad, I couldn't move. Where were you then? Cara was the one taking care of me." I spit. "Gah, you're so ridiculous! I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with a fan." She spit. My heart shattered in my chest and tears streamed down my cheeks. "That's all I am? A fan?" I managed to croak out. "I.. I didn't mean that." She said and looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Then why say it?" I murmured. "Maybe.. Maybe we just need some time away from each other." She said. My breathing hitched and I felt like I could throw up. "A-are we breaking up?" I asked. "I think it's what's best. I'm sorry Regina." She said and rubbed her forehead. I nodded and she sighed, then left. I lost it. Sobs ripped through my body and I immediately started packing.

After a few hours, I had two bags packed. Cara texted me and said they had gone to get dinner. I rubbed my eyes, then got my bags and left the room. I called a cab and when it got here, I put my bags in and he took me to LAX. When we got there, I paid and got out. I bought a ticket and went through security. I got on the plane when it was time to board and I found my seat. I stared out the window and tried not to cry. It's 6 o'clock. So, in Maine, it's 9 o'clock.