Motivation of Memories: The Second Book of the Labors of Love Series

Hidden Past: Part 2

A/N

Trigger Warning

This chapter continues the themes of depression and suicidal ideation from last chapter. These topics may be distressing for some readers. Please take care while reading, and step away if you need to.

-NG494
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Prince's POV

The next few days were quiet. She worked, she rehearsed, she even smoked, but there was no joy. She was here with us but her eyes grew blanker each day. Her notebook is back. She won't look at anyone. She just...sits.

It's been too long. I think she needs help. Luckily we're off today.

"I'm running some errands and you need a change of scenery. Get dressed." I say calm yet stern in her direction. She gets up from the chair throwing off the hotel robe revealing her outfit for the day unceremoniously. Black pants and a black shirt even her wardrobe has lost its color. She grabbed her notebook and followed close behind me.

We drive a long while turning this way and that. I hoped seeing the new town would bring some of the light back to her eyes but it didn't. A nail shop appears in the distance near a post office bringing a smirk to my lips.

"Give me your hand." Without breaking her gaze out the window she put her hand in mine. I looked down at her fingertips noticing the overgrown manicure and set my course. "I'm going to the post office. Why don't you get your nails and toes done? I'll come over and keep you company when I'm done. She nods as the car stops.

I watch her walk into the building before I head to the post office. I slip inside and am surprised by the quiet.

"How can I help you, sir?" I smile not being recognized in my boring clothes and decide to play a game.

"I'm not from here. Wanted to know if you'd direct me to a flower shop."

"Sure! Nearest one's on the end of the street but if you want to find something special. I'd drive past that one and make a left on 6th. It should be right there on the corner.

"Thank you." I walk next door and see my Genny babe sitting in a chair while a woman tended to her feet.

"I'll be right back. Gotta stop at another post office."

"Pick a color." She says softly holding out the 4 wheels of nail polish colors. I look for a while, spinning them in my hands before handing them back to her.

"This one." I point to a bright orange. She looks at the woman tending to her who examines the color and nods. "I'll be back baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

Genevieve's POV

Prince walks out and my appointment goes smoothly. The tension within me dissolves in the pedicure bowl.

I have to tell him but I don't know how.

How do you tell someone who loves you that you don't always want to be here? That some days you feel so heavily that you'd rather sink into the ground than keep going?

Maybe that's why I told Ale. I've never loved him enough to protect him from my hidden truths.

I think over this for the rest of my appointment. Prince returns just as it finishes. He pays and holds my hand as we exit.

I wonder if he can feel how sweaty my palms are, how my heart beats with the fear of him knowing. If he can hear the words swirling in my head.

"Prince?" I mumble looking down at the sidewalk. "I have something to tell you."

"I know and I know what you have to tell me too." We both get into the car. He looks over at me through his sunglasses and my heart stops.

"Y-you do? H-how?"

"Your dad told me. He told me about the fight and how you disappeared for a few days after. He doesn't know why you were gone or where you went. I put the pieces together myself." The tears threaten to betray me as I look ahead. "I'm sorry you ever had to feel that way."

"No need to."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"Not really."

"Explain."

"Sometimes it's more of a need to escape."

"Like a change in scenery?"

"Mhm."

"Baby, look at me." I turn my head to face him. It feels strange having this conversation in our parked rental car. To be confessing my secret sins to him. I said I'd never tell anyone. "You never have to fee that way again and if you do I'm here. If you want to escape we can spend a month overseas. If you need comfort we can stay home and pretend we're not home. I don't want you to suffer in silence anymore. Just come to me."

"How can I? How can I come to you and tell you the life I have does not feel like it is worth living? I wrote a poem while I was at Alejandro's house.

If I could walk out of myself, away from myself, what would I see?

Would there be a woman or a shell of one looking back at me?

Could she stand tall with her sorrows weighing her down?

Or would she drown?

Gasping for air in a smog infested city

Clinging to a memory that will not fill her lungs.

Would I notice the wrinkles and grey hairs?

The weight lost?

The spirit broken?

Or would I be fooled by her smile too?" I sigh. "Sometimes I can't even tell it's happening. I'll go about my day and then the thought appears..." the tears stream down my face as my heart sits outside my chest. Raw and bloody and bleeding I bare my ugly truth.

"It doesn't matter. If it happens promise you'll come to me and I promise I'll do whatever I can to take every once of your pain away." His thumbs glides across my face erasing the tears and the worry.

"I promise." I whisper afraid of my voice.

"I promise too. Now look in the backseat." I turn around and finally notice the seat full of lilies, sunflowers, and roses. I turn back to him eyes full of tears. "I just wanted to show you I love you and that I'll be there, even if you don't tell me you need me."