Couldn't End It

Chapter 4: Stupid Self

I turn and walked up to him "what are you talking about?" I knew exactly what he meant but I didn't want to risk my self. "Ohh come on. I'm not that stupid? You don't think I've notice? Every time I touch you or your arms you scream. When some one offends you, you tear upp. Put the pieces together and its obvious."

"I don't know what your talking about?" I said acting like nothing "ohh okay well let me grab your wrists and pull up your sleeves." I give him my right arm. I knew that one didn't have anything, that was visible atlease.  He squeezed my risk expecting me to groan. "Okay now the other one" ohh no why me? No I cant he's going to tell on me. "You said one. And now can you forget me?" I tried to cover it up

"No I said wrists and sleeves, as in both" ugh why does he have to be so smart. I ran! Or atlease I thought. He ended up graining on me again. This time he grabbed my left arm. I clench my teeth at the pain. He slowly raised my sleeve up. His eyes widen up, he was in shocked. I let him see it for a few second before realizing what I was doing. I quickly pulled away. He
was the first person to actually see my cuts. Not even the women knew. She would hear me and assume but she never really see them. "Please-" I get cut off "stay strong." I roll my eyes, typical saying. It's all easier said than done. "I'm serious your strong enough." I snap back. "You don't even know me you don't know my life. My family, my friends what makes you think I can be strong? You have no idea what I gone through. It's a place called hell-" I quickly cover my mouth realizing I almost spilt my guts out to a complete stranger. (A/n: sometimes it's better to spill it out to a complete stranger)

"Can you leave me alone now? I showed you it" I was sorta worried he was going to tell other people. Great! Just when I though my life at it worst, hell throws more at me. "I was but you are in need of someone who cares-" I cut him off. "And I suppose you care?"

"Honestly I do-"

"I got to get to class" this time I actually did leave and luckily didn't see him.

Remember you can't get pregnant!your better than your mom! You can't prove her your a whore. Talking leads to sex!

***

That night I sleep worried. I was very worried if he will tell someone. I was hoping he would keep it to himself. I wanted him to just forget he never saw it. I just wanted him to think it never happens. I wanted it to never happen. I was dyeing in my thoughts.

I look up and notice the stars. Thoughs came back. As a kid when my mother would yell at me I would come in and lay in my bed. Even tho the stars never moved I would come up with so many different things. At times I would repete something but that's when I changed my point of view.

"YULEMA!"

I stand up terrified. The door open with an angry women. The women. Worst part she had a shoe in her hand.i was petrified of what I did.

"Why did the school call me?" She asked still angry. Shit! Did he tell?

"I don't know. I'm sorry I swear I didn't do anything wrong." I tried to ease her a bit but it didn't work."LOOK IF THEY ARE CALLING ME FOR THAT STUPID SHIT YOU DO HERE IM GOING TO KILL YOU AND YOU KNOW IM NOT PLAY AROUND! IM GOING TO YOUR SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!"my head where tucked under the blanket. Than it happens

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Tears where coming down my cheek uncontrollably. I was in terrible pain. I was pulling my hairs with every hit, I couldn't handle it. I could never get use to it. I've tried, it can't she's unpredictable. Finally the hits stop I look up to see if she left and she did, out of sight. I go straight to my draw.

"What!!?!??" They where gone! I quickly panic I walk out of the room baring pain I needed them. My friends. I wanted them. "Looking for these?" I turn to see her standing there. With all my friend, all 16. I knew they where now garbage, but I needed them. I walked back in my room and lift up my mattress. I quickly grabed the razor and slice. "Ahhh-" I quickly cover my mouth.

One for the hits
One for Justin catching me
One for loosing my friend

I finish in pain. Just for now. My stupid self repeated it in my head. Bandage don't fix bullet wholes. But soon they will.

I grab a riped up t-shirt and tie it on my cuts it did hurt but I had it loose just so I wouldn't bleed on my bed. My eyes start to get heavier and heavier. I close my eyes. Then I hear a noise.

I got scared and hugged my pillow tight. The noise didn't stop and it keep scaring me. I couldn't think straight so I didn't know where it was coming from.

I closed my eyes, just for a minute. I tried to calm down. Then I open my eyes. I waited to hear it again

Scratch scratch

I quickly turn to the window. What? Why? My eyes widen as I see him.