gay || shaylor

-fall out-

it's school again. "hi my name is Louis Tomlinson and i'm new." a guy greeted me which really surprises me. i swear if this is one of Tay's plan to make new friends he's dead. "hi my name is Shawn Mendes."

"hi, do you mind if i sit here?"

"nope, help yourself."

"so Shawn tell me about yourself."

"well, i'm Shawn, i'm seventeen and i play the guitar and sing a little." i didn't say i'm gay because i really want to be friends with him. "oh really? my name is Louis i'm also seventeen i was actually in a band called One Direction but since i changed schools i got out." he sighed sadly. "oh and i'm bi." he added making me smile. "really? i'm gay."

"awe that's cute."

"aye Shawn!" i hear Tay call. "you're gonna support me in football right? today is our big game." Tay pouted and i nodded. "i definitely will." i confirmed and he grinned. "hey i've never seen you around, you must be new
right?" Tay asked Louis and Louis smiled brightly and nodded. "i'm Taylor but call me Tay."

"i'm Louis but i guess you can call me Lou."

"great! i'll see you two around then." Tay stated, kissing my cheek and walking away.

"i ship you two." Lou complimented throwing a fry at me. "hey don't throw food." i scoffed.

"why?" he asked

"because. i don't know that's what everyone says, food is nice. but i don't know if it's life." i giggled.

_________

i shut the door and dropped my bag near the door and went to our room and fall on Tay's bed. i guess i'll just do my homework.

______

i yawned and got up. i stretched and went to the kitchen an grab an apple. i'm surprised Alaina didn't come today, she comes everyday, mostly with Haley, and where's Tay? he should be home three hours ago. i hear the front door slam making me gasp, i got out the kitchen to see a very mad Taylor. "Tay what's wrong?" i asked him softly.

"don't you Tay me! you didn't show up at my big game today." he yelled tears streaming out of his eyes. i gasped remembering that i said i'll go to his game today. "Tay i-i." i stuttered trying not to cry. he looks at me sadly and went to the room. he slammed the door leaving me heartbroken in the living room. i sat on the couch and pull my legs to my chest. i didn't see him play. i'm such a bad friend. are we even friends right now. i sobbed in-between my knees.

i can't believe that i just forgot his game. i lift my head up to take a breath but i see red liquid on my forearm. blood. i haven't seen it in a while. hell i haven't seen it in years. i stare at my wrist thinking if i should do it or not.

no Shawn, you've been a year and a half clean

i don't know

you promised yourself

promises can be broken.
wait did i really just talked to myself? oh my gosh that's creepy. i gave up and went to the bathroom. i stared at myself and saw that my nose is bleeding. i sighed and try to clean it off. i then took a razor and start cutting.

1. for being a bad friend

2. for forgetting Tay's game

3. for existing

4. for being a stupid person

i slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest and cried. i'm so stupid. suddenly the door opened.

Taylor's POV

i can't believe Shawn forgot my game. he was my spirit, my happiness in every game. i sighed getting up from my bed and opening the door. maybe i was too harsh.

but he missed my game. i took a deep breath and went to the kitchen. i heard crying. Shawn. i put down the milk carton and got out of the kitchen and approached the bathroom. i opened the door and saw a crying Shawn on the floor and a bloody razor. no no no no. no he didn't. he didn't just cut. "Shawn, y-you d-d-didn't." i stuttered sitting beside him.

"i-i'm sorry Taylor, for being a bad friend and missing your game, Taylor i'm really sorry." he sobbed and that made me feel guilty. he was perfectly clean for a year and a half and i made him cut again. "come on let's get you cleaned." i suggested and he slowly stood up. i took a clean handkerchief and twist the cold tap and let the water flow down. i wet the handkerchief and then slowly dab it on his wrist. "uh Taylor." he whimpered making me go softer. i took a bandage and carefully wrap his wrist. "Shawn, i'm sorry i... i overreacted." i apologise pulling him to a hug. "it's alright." he murmured. hopefully tomorrow will be better.

___

it's morning and i was making breakfast for four. as four i mean, Shawn, Haley, Al and myself. the door burst opened revealing the lesbian couple. "morning." Alaina chirped hopping on a stool. "hi." i greeted giving the two several pancakes. Shawn came in looking glum. the clothes he's wearing is full on black, usually he'll use black but with other colours. not just black. he was wearing a black tee, black skinny jeans and a black jumper. "whoa Shawn, going to a funeral?" Al joked and Haley swatted the back of Al's head. "don't be rude." Haley scowled at Al. "well i'm sorry this isn't Shawn." Al pouted rubbing the back of her head. "Shawn are you okay?" i asked him rubbing his back, he nodded and i gave him some pancakes. it's almost eight. "guys come on we're gonna be late for school." Haley reminded getting her shoes on going out. we all ran and slip our shoes on. the girls ran but i waited for Shawn. "Shawn, you're all black." i stated and he chuckled.

"well doesn't that sound racist." Shawn scoffed and i shook my head.

"i don't mean it like that, i mean your wearing, it's full on black it's not like you."

"i just took the first thing i see, hey at least my shoes are white." he pointed out and i laugh at him. "also i'm wearing a grey shirt." he added taking off his jumper. oh so i was wrong. "don't use your jumper." i ordered and he gave me a questioning look.

"why?"

"because i want to give you mine and you look cute with mines" i complimented giving him my jumper. he blushed and slipped it on. i think today will be a great day

_____

AN:

5 facts about me

1. I'm shit at endings

2. I'm Asian

3. my name is Sarah

4. this is actually the only book i take very srsly. i wrote other books but deleted them because they became rlly shit

5. huge fan of Shawnie and OneD

huge dedication to shawnslipbite for encouraging me to update. it's like 12:30AM where I live. pray for me woo. eh yea see u next time

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MendieMuffin