i waited a few minutes before i followed him, i don't know what he will do. i stepped into the house, and opened the hallway door. our two dogs and two cats greeted me instantly and i petted them over their heads for a while, also to calm myself down once again. i walked further into the living room and my eyes traveled across the whole place, looking for dad. and there he was, he sat himself down onto the couch in the corner. i looked at him ashamed of myself, and how i made this sudden decission. he looked up because he heard me walking in. he shook his head again. i looked away from him and headed upstairs to my room. i sat down on my bed, and i just looked around the room. can i actually leave? i know i have to do it, otherwise bad things will happen. i walked over to the small desk and opened the only little drawer it had. my heart started pounding in my chest. i looked at the little pink box in the corner of the drawer. i grabbed it, and then i opened it. a tear rolled down my cheek again. i took the box and the first aid box next to it, ran to the bathroom and locked the door. all these bad thoughts started swirling around in my head. you hurt him, now its your turn to feel the pain, that was the last thing i could take. i cried and cried. and before i knew it i slit my wrist. but not as usual, no this one was worse. i always cut horizontal, because its less dangerous. but this time i didnt , this time was bad. vertical, deep, fast and alot. as soon as i saw how bad it was i held my arm and wrist under the flowing water. i opened the first aid box with my un-harmed arm. i pulled out a band-aid to stop the bleeding. i wrapped it around my arm really tight so it would stay in it's place. i changed into a long sleeve shirt so the band-aid wouln't be visible. i returned back to my room after i fixed up my face too. took everything with me. i placed everything back were i got it from. i only took one razorblade with me. just in case, you know.
after i packed everything i needed and eventually stopped crying a little. i looked back once, sighed and closed the door behind me. when i was about to get down again i heard mom entered the living room. oh shit....
''come on Rose, what did you do? did you get into her head? huh?'' i heard dad say very angry. ''no Brandon, she made that decission all on her own. i was just there to support her. she is having a hard time with this, she was so afraid to hurt you.. and now i know why. you better make it up to her before i...'' ''mom, dad, stop now!'' i yelled coming down the stairs pretty fast. ''i am so sick of this. dad doesnt have to make up anything to me, i made a promise to him and i broke it. which is my fault. and what would you do mom? tell him i cant be here anymore? huh? you know what, you cant do shit about it. it is and will always be my choice.'' i said very clearly while crying my eyes out. damn i cry alot. ''okay sweetie, im sorry'' mom said. ''you better.'' i mumbled grumpy. '' mom can you please leave for a few minutes? i want to talk to dad. alone.'' ''yes, offcourse. see you in a bit. ill be waiting in the car.'' she said.
''uhm hey dad?'' i almost whispered. ''yes kassie?'' he looked up at me. '' you know im sorry right? i have to do this for myself if i want to have a career after school. i know i made a promise to you, and im so sorry to break it dad. i love you, but i have to go. i will visit you like i would with mom.. is that okay?'' i said. ''yeah i understand, but it just hurts. and im sorry too, for that argument with your mom. i just didnt expect this right now. i felt so many emotions and i dont know how to express them. im sorry kass'' he said to me.. omg im so relieved he gets me. '' but dad, please dont do anything stupid okay? this is not your fault.. '' i told him. which was actually pretty hypocrite, but i just didnt want him to hurt himself. i know him. '' i wont kass, i promise.'' ''thanks dad, i think i gotta go now.. '' a tear crept down from his eye. '' bye kassie, see you soon'' i hugged him. '' bye dad, see you in two weeks. i love you.'' i kissed his cheek. '' i love you too, kid.''
i walked out of the house. wow, mom already put all of my stuff in the car. thank god. i walked over to the car. hopped into it and closed the door. i waved to dad, who was in the door opening. he waved back, ''bye'' he mouthed. ''bye'' i whispered and another tear slipped down my face. and we were off, on the road. to my new home.
