so after a few weeks, I found out that me and my stepsister aren't really a great team. we always ended up fighting. I'm starting to get really sick of it. sometimes I really wanna punch her in the face, with a damn chair or something. she probably feels the same about me.. because I'm just as stubborn as she is. its a good thing my stepdad and this other guy Alex, who happens to be the cook where in the kitchen too so we didn't really have a chance to high five each other with chairs. and this cook, he was kinda weird. and looked pretty young too, but actually he's pretty old in comparison to me. lol
as the weeks past by, so did the cutting and the scars. I got more and more of them every single day. things really weren't going so good. I felt more depressed every minute that went by. I lost my stepsister as a good friend, at least that's what it felt like.. I felt more lonely and stuck between now and the choice of killing myself. eventually I kept staying, because everytime I tried to end my life something weird popped up in my mind... : what if I meet the one tomorrow or next week, maybe there's someone who actually does care. so weird, but it kept me alive.
~ 3 months later ~
its a Wednesday after I had PE at school as a last hour. so when school was out I stepped on my bike and went to the restaurant because I wanted to see mom. and as I don't really care what I looked like I was wearing sweatpants. and because it was raining too my hair was a mess, but once again I didn't gave a damn shit...
when I walked in, bobbing my head with the rhythm of my music, and humming along a little bit too.. taking of my glasses because I couldn't see anything trough them anymore. I greeted mom and her boyfriend and after that I walked straight into the kitchen, singing a little harder than I was doing before, into this little office in the corner. I dropped my backpack on the small yellow couch, took off my wet jacket and pulled out my earbuds. when I put everything away in my bag and cleaning my glasses and put them on again, I stopped walking in the kitchen when I heard this strange male voice. I sneaked back into the little corner and listened carefully, his voice... man I usually don't care or ignore the people who come to visit my parents, but this guy. and I only heard his voice, I havent even seen him. he has this deep, low and mysterious voice which actually gave me chills and a weird feeling in my stomach that i never ever had before. I peeked around the corner. but me, the dumbass, has to trip over her own feet and falls right on her damn stupid face. everybody looked at me. I just stood up and walked over the machine to get something to drink. ''hey, you okay?'' the male voice asked. I looked up from my glasses and my eyes fell straight into his brown to green eyes. I looked down instantly again. ''yeah I guess, thanks.'' when I looked up he had this strange smirk on his face. ''good'' was all he said after. I looked up to him again, when he raised an eyebrow I looked down to my fingers who were now intertwined with each other.
when there started to play music out of nowhere out of my bag, I blushed and walked over to my phone. I recognized the song immediately. I tried to put it off but it just wouldn't work. ''stupid damn thing'' I silently yelled to it so only I could hear it. ''uhm, whats the problem?'' he asked me. I jumped up and blushed while I was regaining my balance from the shock. ''it just wont work okay?!'' I snapped at him. against my feeling because I was kinda intimidated by him, its just the way he looks at me. it makes me feel... I don't really know how to call it. maybe ill find out later. I took my phone to the bar where mom and stepdad were. this dude followed me. ''mom, I really need another one. like as soon as possible. it wont even stop playing music, until I pull out the battery''. so I did that, and when the music finally stopped I blushed again and looked at mom. ''listen sweetie, I now you need another one but you really have to go with this one for a while. we don't have the money for it right now. I'm sorry'' she said. ''no, I know mom. its fine, but when I'm not picking up the phone at some point I threw it at the wall. sorry.'' I replied to her. this guy chuckled. I looked at my stepdad a little weird hinting for who this guy was. I'm glad he understood. he looked at him and said '' uhm, Caleb, you haven't introduced yourself to my oldest daughter". " oh yeah, right. Hii, my name is Caleb.. you probably have seen Alex... yeah he is a very good friend of mine. so what's your name?". He asked me. " uhmm hii, my name is Kassie.. and yeah i've seen him" I answered awkwardly. " nice to meet you" he said. All I did was nod. He looked weird at me.. this guy is a little strange, but he might think exactly thesame about me.
While everybody was talking I kinda got sucked up in my own little world... which I would gladly end. I was staring outside at the rain and wishing I was a tiny raindrop.. which would last for just a little while.. consisting out of water that rise up because of the heat.. and fall down again because the cloud got too heavy.
After a little while I got snapped out of my thoughts.. "hey Kassie, I just remembered that I have this phone at my place that I don't use.. uhm you can borrow it if you'd like?" Caleb said.. "uhm, that's really nice of you but you don't really have..." "ahw Caleb that's an amazing offer that Kassie will gladly take " she interrupted me and looked at me hinting that I should accept the offer and say thanks. "Yeah, thanks Caleb... thats really nice of you. But you don't have to or something.." nobody ever does something nice for me so why should or would you...?
After we handled that of, I started to think again.. and I saw him looking at me... he looks with a bit of disappointment in his face. Oh no... he already saw what kind of weird girl I am.. I should go...
"Hey mom, I should probably go by now" I said to mom with my eyes down on the ground. I looked up at him and saw that weird smirk again.. "yeah you should honey, it's getting later and darker. Be safe and let me know when you get home okay?" As i grabbed my stuff i answered " yes mom, bye now" "bye sweetie, love you" and I closed the door
