I am Kassie, for the ones who don't know me yet.. ☺
Hii, I am Medina. Alex 's girlfriend haha
Hey, I am Stan, just a random dude who happens to be a friend.. oh I'm also the only single one here😉
Dont worry, me too Kassie sended
I'm Demi, and Caleb is MY boyfriend
Yeah I've heard... she replied to Demi
Good. Demi answered on her.
I sighed. I hate it so much when she does stuff like that. And she knows it. We've been togheter for over three months now.. and she behaves like I'm her possession. I cant stand it anymore. And god knows how it will go when she meets Kassie, and notices how I'm around her.. I just hope she behaves normal, like any other person in the club. If we're even going to a club.. because she is only sixteen..
I dont even know why I reacted the way I did when she told me how old she was... well, I actually do know.. but I'm just too afraid to admit it, and im not even sure either.. it might just as well be for a moment and it will be gone after..
Why should I even tell.. why should I let go something I'm sure of.. and j just dont know if it would be sure with her..
although, i think anything would be better than Demi right now.. she pisses me off and i cant take it any longer, and i keep thinking about kassie all the time.. she keeps popping up.. and i really feel like she became more important to me, after we started texting all the time. we just talk about random things.. it usually starts with something she wants to talk about. yeah, we came to the point where she tells me her problems.. and im so willing to help her.
she told me what she does when she feels ''useless and worthless'' like she says it most of the time. when she confessed that she cuts herself when she feels bad, before or after her panic attack, it gave me chills.. her words just bursted through my bones. and when i think of it, i still shiver. she has such an impact on me, and she doesnt even know. the way she walks, talks, cries, scream or do the little half smile when i finally break through, it has it all for me... but i cant permit it to let Demi go, as long as i know nothing.. i know it sounds selfish, mean and stupid.. but i cant be alone, i even have a hard time sleeping alone. i just am not able to be alone.. and like i said, i have no idea if this thing with kassie is real.. i love Demi to the bone, and i am so affraid to lose her too...
the rest of the time in the groupchat was mostly Demi and medina talking about the books of 50 shades of grey and how much they liked it. it was mostly everyone talking but Kassie, she is too shy. or she just doenst know what to say and doesnt want to interrupt the close group we have.. and i understand, its hard to get trough. especially with the girls.
kassie's P.O.V.
''mom, i got thrown is this group with Rens and Caleb and their great girlfriends'' i said in a sarcastic tone to my mother when i got to the point of the girlfriends. i dont really like Demi, she seems very clingy around Caleb and i have the idea she sees me as some kind of competition. but the thing is, i dont really get why.. im useless, worthless and suicidal.. nobody should even have to live with me.. i feel sorry for my family. but once they get to know me, mostly Demi, then she will see im nothing even close to competition..
''what is it about, Kassie?'' mom said back and shook me out of my thoughts. ''carnival in 2 days mom, im sorry its so short before.. but its monday.. like the monday in 2 days.'' i bit my lip nervously. she just smiled. ''me and your dad are okay with it, as long as youre home by 1 o'clock prompt.'' she said and looked over to John, my stepdad.. ''yeah Alex added me in therer in some kind of way, i dont know how he got my number'' i said to my mom with a frown. she grinned and said '' yeah, we asked him if he could ask his friends kassie, but you need to get out there..''.
great, even my mom sees im gonna die alone soon...
i sighed deeply and shivered.. its time again. ''mom, im gonna go home again'' i walked up to the bar. ''are you sure darling? Caleb is coming over in a few'' she smiled and looked at me wondering.. ''yes mom, im sure.. i might have stayed if he was here earlier, but i wanna go home now. im very sorry'' i said to her and gave her a weak smile. ''its okay hun, but be safe okay?'' she reassured me. ''yes mommy'' i hugged her and walked out.
as soon as my jacket was closed and my music was on i stepped on the bike and looked over both sides if it was safe to go, i saw this dude coming up with a black jacket and a cap on with skulls.. i knew it was Caleb, and he is exactly one of the reasons im going home right now.. i started to pedal really hard.. i hope he didnt see me.
he didnt....
i was going home fast before i stopped somewhere else.. i was home in like 15 minutes which is so much faster than usual.. it would be too clear if i called right away so i went upstairs first, as no one was home anyways.. i did my usual thing.. i grabbed my little pink box, threw out all of the bobby pins and rushed to the bathroom. i started to breath heavy and slit the cold peace of sharp metal accross my already torn up skin. a big drop of blood started to form on my fucked up wrist.. i started crying loudly and had my usual attack.. i kept doing this till i almost couldnt breath anymore, but as soon as i noticed that 20 minutes had passed and i really needed to call i grabbed my towel, wrapped it around my wrist and got the phone to call mom i was home..
after we finished calling i ran upstairs let the water in the shower run, ripped of the towel thats now red. took some underwear and started to shower. i looked at myself in the mirror, looked down, then in the mirror again. i started screaming at my reflection.. i cried like a psycho and found my relief in the razor again...
i need to end the pain....
