With You

Chapter 15

His hands shivered as he held her hand tight in his gentle grip. Ryan could hear the beating of his heart which was making him deaf to everything around him. The only thing which was going in his mind was her words of few minutes ago and now her blood stricken face.

It's never too late to return.

Nothing had changed around him but everything was changing inside him. His tears were ready to break free but he didn't want to show his weakness in front of anyone. He was just hoping that everything would come back to its place.

His mind switched off as Ryan saw limp body of Zarah on the road. He didn't know what he was doing, there were screams and murmurs around him but he was just staring at Zarah as if his words had pushed her here. Someone moved him aside and put Zarah's body on the stretcher while he just mindlessly followed her inside the hospital.

"Bhai, are you okay?"

Ryan blinked a little too long to focus on what was going around him, still Zarah's blood stricken face moving before his eyes as he saw the ward boys taking her inside the operation theatre. He looked beside him at Hanan who was looking at him in concern.

"I killed her Hanan."

"No bhai, you didn't do anything. She will be fine." Hanan chided while making him sit on the waiting chairs and his eyes got stuck on the operation theatre door. His heart beating wildly. Nothing could be more cruel than his own life, he was taking home his sister's corpse and the girl whom he had began to admire was dangling between death and life.

His feet bounced up and down in worry as Ryan rubbed his hands together to move his feelings of fear and anxiety. Now he had to inform at Zarah's house, what he would tell them? He tried to kill their daughter just because she was giving him some advice. The fear of losing Zarah slowly formed in his body, his gut churning to create the whiff of turmoil.

No.

He couldn't lose her.

He didn't want to.

If something happened to her, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself over his words, his actions.

"Bhai."

Ryan looked away from the door and at Hanan who was standing with a cup of water in his hands. He gingerly took it in his hands and finished it in one gulp, surprised that his throat was parched up till now.

"Inform her family Hanan."

Ryan mumbled and got again busy in looking at the theatre's door, becoming deaf with his surrounding as only one thing was running inside his mind. Zarah.

***

She had just finished her duty of afternoon and was now washing her hands for her lunch. It was quite late and Faiza was surprised that Zarah hadn't reached till now. She had informed her about the formalities related to Hamida's body and that was why she was going to be late but now it was lunch time and there were no signs of Zarah.

Opening her tiffin box, the lovely aroma of aloo sabzi hit her nostrils and Faiza again remembered Zarah and her love for that dish which her mother used to make. Just as she put the first morsel in her mouth, a knock sounded on the door and opening it the receptionist came in with a scared look making her nervous.

"What happened?"

"Doctor, I got a call. Zarah Ma'm got into an accident and now she is in the hospital she had went to."

Faiza felt the morsel got stuck in her throat listening to the receptionist's talk. An air of worry seeped inside her as she tried to control herself hearing that dreadful news. She quickly left her seat and the hospital to reach her friend who was in need of her.

By the time she had reached the hospital, Faiza had informed at Zarah's house. Stepping in she found Ryan who was looking at the opearation theatre's direction and a man sitting beside him staring in void. Maybe that was Hanan, Ryan's brother-in-law.

"How's she?"

Faiza questioned as soon as she reached them and Hanan looked up to see her, his unusual eye color making her somewhat rooted to her spot. It was of some kind of blue, maybe dark blue or sapphire but she liked when she looked in his eyes, the combination of blue with the red tiny lines inside his eyes creating a beautiful effect.

"The doctors are doing their work. They needed blood so bhai gave it." On his words, Faiza moved her gaze to see Ryan whose sleeve was folded till his elbow and a cream medical tape could be seen on the juncture between his wrist and arm.

Blood.

How bad that accident was that Zarah was in need of blood?

What had happened to her friend?

Faiza nodded feeling embarrassed that she had observed Hanan more than necessary without worrying about Zarah and began to stride aimlessly as her friend's worry crept inside her again.

"Here. Take a seat."

A voice stopped her aimless walk and she turned to see Hanan standing from his seat. She denied it, "No it's okay. I-"

"Sit here. I'll just bring the coffee."

Hanan stopped her denial in middle and moved outside leaving her alone with Ryan. He was looking distorted as if the whole pressure was on him, as if it was him who had pushed Zarah at that condition.

"How that happened?"

Faiza asked and it felt Ryan came back from another world as he took a shiver on her question.

"I don't know." Ryan shook his head while looking down and again looked at her, now his eyes holding a look of determination," No. I killed her. It was because of me she is like this..."

Faiza shook her head, understanding that it was the shock which was making him utter such absurdities. Though she couldn't trust Ryan but she knew how strong her friend was, she couldn't get hurt by someone or could she?

***

The doctors moved quickly outside the theatre and more doctors moved inside. What was going on? His being shook just like a lifeless leaf in autumn. Ryan didn't want to think anything bad but it was making him think like that.

He moved to his side to see Zarah's mother who was silently sobbing as Zarah's father consoled her gently. Looking at them, he remembered his own parents. Seeing her sob, Ryan's mind again got filled with images of Zarah lying in her own blood.

"The patient is losing her heartbeats."

The nurse yelled as she took the doctors with her and the doctors ordered them to prepare the defibrillator. Ryan shook his head, gulping the ball of fear and worry. She couldn't lose her heartbeats just like that.

"Save her. Nothing can happen to her."

Ryan held one of the doctor, his voice wavering at the edge. The doctor nodded trying to move him away and someone made him sit back on his seat. It was Zarah's father who was now patting his shoulder.

"Pray for her and she would be fine."

No. He wouldn't.

It was his fight with that Lord who always left him alone in time of need. Just like now, he wanted Ryan to rub his nose in front of him, to beg for Zarah's life. But he wouldn't. Then what he would do?

If he wouldn't pray for her and Zarah lost her life, what he would do then? Ryan pursed his lips nodding at Zarah's father.

Give her life back to Zarah and I'll become your slave. You know I never came to you, we never got along but this time fulfill this and I'll be yours.

Ryan closed his eyes, after many years a silent plea leaving his soul. He gulped looking at the operation theatre of which light bulb went off and his heartbeats gained pace.