You think I'm so in love?

Baby blues

Francesca "Freezy" Tulip

I waited patiently in the hospital room for my test results. I had been feeling dizzy and morning sickness for the past month now and I've never had the guts to take the pregnancy test at home.

Since I live with Jacques now I don't want him to worry or stress about me being pregnant with another mans baby. We haven't even had sex yet. I just don't feel right.

"Miss. Tulip I'm glad to say that you are four weeks exactly." She squealed in excitement. Which was far from my mood.

Babies are a beautiful thing but when the father of the child is dead. How is that suppose to make me feel? Bringing a child into this life without a father?

But I guess no father is better than the father I had. The one who sexually abused me and my mother. The one who kidnapped me to keep me away from the dangers of the world. The one with the green eyes.

No way have I forgiven him even if he's six feet under. I will forever hold a grudge against him.

Everyone I once cared for is gone all because of that man. He sent my mother crazy as she committed suicide, he shot and killed Carlos as he tried to save me, and even he is dead.

Green eyes is dead.

"Wow um thank you." I say wiping away the tears that I had built up just thinking about life. I'm caregiving Carlos' first and only child. And he isn't even here to watch it grow inside of my belly.

I just wonder how Travis is going to take this news. He's at the studio working on his album but he's dropping a EP called Days Before Rodeo.

I fully support him.

I make my way through the busy traffic of Los Angeles making it home under thirty minutes. Travis bought this five bedroom house four years ago.

And now we are going to have a family to fill it. That's if he goes along with the baby news.

I spread across the comfortable ocean blue silk sheets. Laying my head on the pillow as my hand finds its way over my belly. Caressing it slowly. Theres really a baby growing in there.