Somewhere Only We Know

XXX - On the stage in my heels

We finally made it to the auditorium where the baccalaureate was being held. The other guests and students were being guided to their seats, their excited chatter filling the space. Everyone except me and the principal moved ahead, then she gently pulled me aside. I watched as the others faded into the crowd of parents finding their designated areas.

"We're going backstage now," she said quietly but firmly. I followed her closely as she led me through the quieter corridors, away from the buzz of the crowd.

As we walked, she glanced at a tablet in her hand and mentioned, "I saw your email, Maxine." Hearing that made me quicken my pace, the nerves tightening in my stomach as the reality of the moment hit harder. "I understand the weight of this all is quite nerve-racking, hun," she continued. She probably thought calling me 'hun' would help, but it only made me want to punch her. "You should still send out applications to open up possible opportunities in case you—" she paused as I rushed to the door with a bright, neon sign saying "backstage" in large, bold letters, each step bringing me closer to the stage—and to the moment I'd been waiting for.

I entered the backstage room, the muffled noise of the crowd reaching me even through the walls. All eyes immediately fell on me as I was guided by a staff member to an empty seat. No sooner had I sat down than a few people stood up, moving closer, some even pulling out their phones to sneak pictures. The attention irritated me, making me shift uncomfortably in my chair. Thankfully, I was seated next to Camila, and her familiar presence eased my nerves. I gave her a small wave.

Before long, a group of boys from another class approached. One of them was pushed forward toward me, teasing with a grin, breaking the tension for a moment but making me internally brace myself for whatever was next.

Camila shot back at the voice from the back with sharp confidence, "Like you'd have a chance with a Davidson." Then, turning to the boy standing in front of me, she said neutrally but firmly, "Get."

The boys' expressions soured, clearly annoyed at Camila's cutting comment. They started grumbling as they backed off, the tension thick in the air.

One of them muttered, "Nice try," to the boy who had stepped forward, while others threw in remarks like, "Too bad her dyke, prim and proper friend's here," their words heavy with frustration. The comment they had thrown casually infuriated me; 'twas my breaking point. "Use that word again and I'll personally slit your throat, yeah?" I stood shouting as Camila giggled, grabbing my arm and forcing me to sit back down. "Thank you, but I'm used to those comments. Pro tip: don't openly date a girl at a Christian academy," she said as she looked through the gap between the two curtains.

Despite the irritation, Camila's presence was a buffer, easing some of the discomfort the situation might have caused me.

9:18 a.m.

Soon after, Camila was called up for her arts and archery awards. I leaned over and whispered, "Good luck," before a staff member led her away through a staff-only exit that led directly to the left stairs of the auditorium. I couldn't help but bounce my leg. If this is how I react to the awarding ceremony, how the hell will I act tomorrow? I felt my heart racing as I heard the beginning of my introduction. "Now we head over to the best in A-Level History," the master of ceremonies began. Everything went by quickly; a staff member had already brought me to the entrance of the staff exit. I shook my nerves away before hearing Jackson shout from the seats at the back. "Come on, Max! You got this, salutatorian!" he assured me, causing a few students to shout their "woo's" and "ahh's."

"...and our very own Salutatorian, Maxine Jordan Y. Davidson!" The MC concluded as I walked up the stairs, eyes straight ahead. As I walked, my mother, Jesse, Micaela, and the principal greeted me in the middle of the stage, each giving me certificates and hanging medals around my neck. The flicker of cameras startled me, but each of them hugged me almost immediately after giving me my awards. "Along with Lianne Yu, our very own alumni Jesse Davidson and Micaela Davidson!" The MC added, clearly an attempt to end our family ritual onstage.