Pôisön

Chapter 36

               Thandi POV

"No,I can't,I'm not ready" I said as I stared at him "But isn't this what you want,to be with me?" He asked.

"No its not what I want,All I want is you to know what is it you want with me,This relationship is not the type of relationship I want Chris,Maybe you shouldn't have came back,maybe you should stayed wherever you disappeared to"

"How many times must I tell you I left to protect you!" He slightly raised his voice as he clenched his jaw.

"When have you ever been honest with me Chris,I'm sure you just got what you wanted from me and than decided not to stick around anymore" I said as tears filled my eyes,Maybe I'm the only one inlove here.

"That's not true" he said above whisper.

"You can't handle having another man talk to me never mind touch me but I have to forgive you every single time you mess around with your hoes and what hurts me the most Chris is that you constantly throw your relationships with them in my face" I cried even more now,Being with Chris has been the biggest mistake of my life.

"I didn't mean that Krae shit" he lied "Are you not together with Krae once again,Ain't you Chris?" I asked with tears blurring my eyes.deep down I want him to say no but I know Chris is back with her once again.

"I'm so sorry" he said looking down now not even having the decency to look at me.

"Its okay" I said as I tried wiping my tears away "Its okay Chris" I said as I felt my heart break into these tiny pieces.

"I didn't mean to hurt you like that' he whispered "But Thandi I want us to work,All you gotta do is marry me and I promise I'll never leave you or hurt you again" He's lying to me once again.

"Chris I'm not gon marry you,I'm not gon choose you over my family,You know something you really selfish,You chose your mother over me but you want me to choose you over my family,You so damn selfish but than again thats just you,the only person you know is yourself and I'm not marrying you Chris"

"What?" He asked giving me this dumb look.

"Chris Just maybe you right maybe we ain't meant to be" I said now trying my best to wipe my tears away.

"Where the hell is all of this coming from,I mean I get that I fucked up but I'm trying to make things right here" he said slightly getting mad.

"And I'm trying to make things right for myself" I took a deep breath as I thought if I'm really ready to let Chris go.

"I promise I will keep the baby but as for us I'm giving you the freedom to be with Krae" I said with a few tears in my eyes "I gotta go Chris"

"Thandeka I don't understand now all of a sudden you ready to have a baby without me" he asked now getting up.

"I gotta go" I said as I walked away from him and he didn't even follow after me.
He just was waiting for me to let him go.

I took a taxi and went back  home and went to my room where Jasmine was sitting in bed reading a magazine when I got to her I couldn't hold back my tears as I told her how my reunion with Chris was short lived.

"I'm sorry baby" she said touching my face "Jas Its hurts,It hurts so much" I cried as I felt like my heart was bleeding.

"I'm sorry" she rubbed my hair "Why can't everything just fall into place for us" I cried as she rubbed my back trying to calm me down "Shhh" she whispered but I couldn't stop my tears.

"This is not how I pictured my life,What was I thinking getting involved with a kingpin,I should have walked away when he killed Tyrone" my tears couldn't stop I felt lost and abondened.