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Chapter 48

               Thandi POV

"Baby wake up" I heard a male voice in my ear,I already knew who it was.

"Mmm leave me alone Chris" I said pushing him from me "I love you so much" he whispered before he kissed on my ear.

"Chris stop sexing me in my sleep" I said trying to shift from him but he just sucked on my neck his hands travelling in my oversize shirt.

"I'm sorry I hurt you,I'm sorry I cheated forgive ke Thandeka" he whispered massaging my breast "Mmm Chris stop" I said opening my eyes as he carried on sucking on my neck.

"I need you in my life Thandi,I don't know who I am without you" he whispered "I know I fucked up and I don't deserve your forgiveness but Thandi I can't live without you,All my life I've always wanted to feel like I belong somewhere and you are where I belong Thandi,You make me a better person,my whole life has been empty without you Thandi and I do not wanna go back to that place" he said which made me turn to him.

"I know the shit I have done to you is unforgivable but I'm still begging you to find it in your heart to forgive me,I'll make things right,I'll do right by you this time,I'll never let anybody hurt you again,I'll stay faithful,I promise on my life I'll do better Thandeka" he said but I just bit my bottom lip.

"I know you don't trust me and I understand it my fault but I'm asking you just for this last time please trust me Thandi,I will never hurt you again,I don't even know what to say" he said before tears rolled down his eyes.

Right now I'm all up in my feelings when it comes to Chris,I don't know whether I should trust him but God damn I love him so much.

"I might never give you kids again" I said "I don't care Thandi,I love you whether you can give me kids or not,I don't give a fuck about no baby we can adopt or whatever baby all I want is to be with you baby" he said touching my face.

"Just one last chance Thandi please just one if I fuck up again then you have every right to leave me" he said but I just bit my bottom lip.

"I'm tired of you hurting me,I have never hurt you ever since we got together,I've never even given you the reason to cheat on me,I'm there for you everytime,I put up with your crazy ass,I fuck you what else do you need from me Chris?" I asked as tears built up in my eyes "Nothing baby you perfect for me I'm the one that needs to give more in this relationship" he said sincerely.

"But you don't Chris" I said as tears blurred my eyes.
"I will this time,I swear on my fathers grave" he said.

"I don't want to be those girls that stay with somebody who doesn't respect them,who abuses them,call them names just for the sake of some bullshit gangster love" I said as tears spilled out "I want you to respect me as your girlfriend stop thinking it okay for you to cheat on me and then demand me or force me into forgiving you,Chris it hurts that I have to deal with these perfect beautiful girls that you keep messing with,it just shows you not happy with what you have in your bed so you go around looking for these perfect chicks,Do you know how much that hurts?" I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Thandi that's not true baby,I left Krae for you" he said as he cried too "But you replaced her with some Nia bitch or whatever her name is,do you know how much it hurts to think I'll never be what you want,it so easy for you to just blunt out that I'm a fat ass,you never consider my feelings in everything,everything just has to be about you and like the idiot I am I keep forgiving you,giving you second chances every single time but yet I'm still not good enough for you Chris and you trying to convince yourself that I am and I don't wanna live like that where you know you can better than me" I cried now sitting up and he sat up too.