Bad Boy?

Chapter Ten

I woke up early the next morning.
I did my normal morning routine and wore some jeans with a not too fancy top. For the makeup I didn't wear much, but I absolutely did cover up the hickeys from last night with some foundation.

"I am going now," I took an apple from the dining table and kissed my mum's forehead.

"Okay."

I rang Jai's doorbell and his mother, Gina, opened the door.

"Oh, hi," she greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hey, is Jai here?" I asked.

"Actually no, Jai left early for school."

"Oh okay, thank you."

"Weird, Jai would usually wait for me, or he would at least text me before going to school," I thought to myself as I walked away from the Brooks house.
I tried calling Jai. Two rings, three rings, four rings.. No answer.
He was all I could think about on the way to school. I seriously didn't know what's wrong with him I mean, yesterday he seemed fine, and now all of a sudden he is ignoring his phone.
I made my way to the school gates, and I felt alot of people gazing and staring at me. At first I ignored them, but then it got a little out of hand.

People started whispering into each other's ears, and I could feel them talking about me. I didn't understand what's going on.. First Jai, now them? What the hell is going on in here?
I saw Jai standing in front of his locker; I started making my way towards him. I wanted to ask him why he left early for school this morning, and why everyone was staring at me like I had just murdered someone.

"Jai?" I called, but it came more as a silent whisper. His friends were next to him. That's so not a good time to make a fool out of myself.

"Oh look, Jai. She is that loser from last night," one of the guys said, pointing at.. me?

"Tyler, just forget about it," snapped Jai. What the hell?

"No, no, let him talk, Jai. I want to know what "loser of last night" he was talking about," I said half shouting quoting "loser of last night" with my hands.
Usually I am that shy and quiet kid, but right now seriously wasn't the time to be a kid. Everyone was laughing, and I felt like someone had just slapped my face, hard.
Do not cry, Amanda. Don't you dare.. I told myself, as I managed to look at Jai then back at Tyler.

"Oh, Jai didn't tell you? Babe, you were just another one of his little games. He doesn't love you and never will. Just move on already,"
I turned my gaze to a red haired girl standing next to Jai, with her arm wrapped around his.

"I do love her, and always will," he defended, removing his arm out of her grasp.

"Wh..what?" The tears failed me and came out as fast as a current, and I choked after almost every word I spat. "Congratulations, Jai." If I wanted to cry at least I had to say something wise before leaving him. "I'm very glad to know that while I was reliving the best nights I ever had, you were too busy telling the details to your friends. Good bye, Jai, and I hope you find another virgin to mess up with."

"No, Aman-"

"Save it for later, Jai. It was nice knowing you. Hopefully we will never see each other again," I took two steps at time as I walked away from him and his dirty group. I could see this was coming, somehow. Jai Brooks only wanted me for my virginity, and I was stupid enough to give it to him.

I couldn't stay in school any longer with everyone glaring at me. I ditched school and went back home, something I would never do, but Jai made me do things I never thought of anyways. He changed me, into the worst.
I hate him.. I love him. He was everything to me, but I was nothing to him. All I could think of was me strangling Jai to death. I was so afraid of falling in love and look where we are now.
My mom was at work. I took a small nap, too tired to process anything, to feel anything. I cried my heart out before finally shutting down my eyes. My dreams were clouded with a dark haired boy dropping my books in the road.

..

I woke up four hours after; it was already midday. Sleeping helped me feel slightly better, or numb, whatever stops me from thinking.
I went to take a long shower just to calm myself down. As the hot water hit my bare skin, thousands of questions started filling my head. 

"Did he really love me?"
"Was he playing with me?"
"Is he with another girl right now?"
"Does he even care about me?"

"Fuck you, Jai Brooks," I shouted loudly.
"I fucking hate you."

Who am I kidding? I fucking love him. I am a disaster. He left me with nothing but a shattered heart.

After that, I went back to my room, laid in bed, looked through social media, and did nothing else.

"I wonder what Jai is doing right now," I thought.

Stop thinking of him Amanda. He doesn't love you and never will, my consciousness reminded me.
I looked down at my phone to find out I had new messages from.. Jai, uh, speaking of the devil.

From Jai

Amanda, I am so sorry. I swear I can explain.

I don't know what happened out there, I tried stopping it. But it was too much.

Amands please, just give me another chance.

I swear, I loved you with all my heart. You were my everything.

Babe.

Little girl.

Mandy.

He is confusing the hell out of me. What could he possibly explain? What would he explain to me about telling his friends about 'our' moments? How can I even believe someone who toys with girls a day, and leaves them the next?

"Fuck this life," I screamed into my pillow.

I chose not to text him back; I already gave him a chance, chances to be more specific, and he ruined them all. I shut down my phone to stop myself to do anything stupid, like texting him back and hearing him out. Is this why people are afraid of falling in love?
I am not weak anymore, I am not that shy and quiet Amanda everyone knows. I cannot be what Jai thinks I am.