Hi okay for those asking, yea I know Jack's mom's name is Joyce in real life but fuck you I didn't want the name isobel so Alex's mom is Joyce suck it up god damn it
"Alex!" A voice yelled from behind one of the trees.
Alex was standing at the park, in the circle of forest behind the high school. The tree tops were ablaze in the colours of autumn.
"Come find me Al!" The voice laughed, a sound that chimed through the air, carried by the cool breeze.
Alex looked around but he saw no one. No one at all. He smiled, sprinting into the deep brush. "Jack come on babe where are you?" He laughed, looking up into the sky and dropping his hands to his sides in exhaustion.
There was no response.
"Jack?" Alex shouted, his smile morphing into a look of panic and disorientation as he resumed jogging.
Things were different now. There was no more laughter echoing around him. There were no birds chirping. The sun had gone down. Alex was cold and alone.
"Jack?! Where are you?! JACK?" He screamed. The trees began to blur. Alex ran as fast as he could. No matter how fast he ran, he never got anywhere. The park had disappeared. The trees were never ending. They all looked the same in the dark, all except for one. Alex fell to the forest ground in tears, his fists clenched. Beside the tree was Jack's slumped over body. He was barely recognizable beneath the blood, but Alex knew it was him. And suddenly all the memories came flooding back to him and he felt himself begin to drown. "Jack" Alex whimpered, reaching for the younger boys hand. But it pulled away.
"You killed me Alex" Jack smiled, blood dripping from his mouth, "you broke my heart, then you killed me" he laughed, " funny huh. Making me want to kill myself wasn't enough, you had to do it for yourself"
Hot tears burned in Alex eye's, staining his cheeks. His heart ached, it was as if someone had reached right through his chest and tore it out with their bare hands. He was so full of emotions, he wanted to rip himself open and set them free. He didn't want to feel a damn thing.
"I know" He whispered, as Jack faded away, leaving the boy sitting alone on the cold hard forest floor, "I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry" He choked, collapsing into himself. Slowly the forest faded and the sterile white hospital room came into focus.
"He's awake!" Joyce called to Lauraine down the hall.
JOYCE: ALEX, IT'S OKAY, IT WAS JUST A DREAM
"Mom, J-J-Jack" Alex whispered
JOYCE: I KNOW BABY... I KNOW... GO BACK TO SLEEP
With tears still wet in his eyes, Alex rolled onto his side and drifted into a calmer state.
"I think we made the wrong decision... in telling him about Jack.. it was too soon" Joyce sighed, sitting down at an empty table in the cafeteria,
"He was going to find out anyway, it wouldn't have been any easier to take later" Lauraine said realistically.
"But..."
"But nothing, okay, we can't start second guessing ourselves now. Of course he took it hard. The kid's deaf from a car crash in which he was giving his boyfriend a kitten on Christmas, and then we have to write on a whiteboard telling him he killed his boyfriend after they had just gotten back together. It ain't an easy thing Joyce, but it happened, and now we can start the healing process."
"He's not deaf... the doctor said it's temporary"
"No, the doctor said it COULD be temporary. There's a difference"
"My son is sitting mentally, physically, and emotionally destroyed alone in that white room, left to his fucking thoughts as they consume him, telling him that it's his fault the one person he ever loved is dead. I'd appreciate it if you would try to be a less cold hearted bitch about all of this" Joyce spat, getting up from the table.
"Yeah well the only person who ever loved me, is laying in the morgue right now, think about that for a second dear" Lauraine whispered, "now I'm going home to pick up a few things, and call the school. Would you like anything while I'm there?"
"No... thank you" Joyce mumbled, turning around and heading back towards Alex's room.
"Alex, I'm sorry baby. For everything. For not supporting you when I found out you were in love with an amazing amazing boy. For not helping you cope with your brother's death. For becoming cold and distant when your father died. Even now it's hard to talk about. You know, I usually just tell people he left when I was pregnant, because it's a lot easier to handle, than the sympathetic eyes they'd give. It was hard on me too Alex. I know I seemed like I didn't care enough, but really I cared too much. I know you can't hear me, and I know this is all too late, but I love you Al. We are going to have a really rough year up ahead, but at least you're alive. Jack would want you to be thankful for that"
"Ms. Gaskarth, are you okay?" A nurse knocked at the door.
"Haha well that would depend on what your definition of okay is now wouldn't it" Joyce let out a soft laugh, wiping the tears from eyes.
"Well yes, I guess that's true, sorry" The nurse smiled sympathetically, stepping into the room.
"No, I'm sorry, I'm such a wreck"
"You good reason to be, it's normal. I'd be worried if you weren't at all upset about this. But things will get better. Did you hear? We're releasing him on New Years Eve."
"No I uh didn't hear that, but thank you for letting me know"
"No problem Ms. Gaskarth, good luck"
It was a long week, well part of a week, but eventually New Years came along. The doctors all agreed that although Alex still hadn't regained his hearing, and he had broken two ribs, there was nothing keeping him from going home. So all bandaged up in a wheel chair, his mom took him to Ms. Kassen's. Alex had requested to stay in Jack's room while he recovered. Neither of the women felt it was a good idea, but the room was a lot comfier than his own, and if that's what he really wanted Lauraine said both the Gaskarth's could stay for as long as they'd like.
JOYCE: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT SOME COMPANY TONIGHT ALEX? LAURAINE CAN GO BY HERSELF IT'S OKAY, REALLY.
"No mom, go. Have fun" Alex smiled from his bed.
JOYCE: OKAY, I LOVE YOU
"Love you too"
Alex held that smile until both women left. But he couldn't keep it going while he was alone. The room was great. He loved it. But it smelt like Jack. And as soon as the smell faded, it would be gone forever.
Alex started to cry.
"Jack. I'm so fucking sorry. I really am. I know, I ruined your life, and then I ended it. But, I really did love you. I promise. The only thing I hear now is your voice in my dreams. Sometimes it's your laugh, and we're on a picnic on a hill, with the kitten, you throw grapes into my mouth but you have such bad aim they hit me in the eye. Your smile is brighter than the fucking sun, man. But other times, it's you slumped over underneath that tree again, covered in blood, and I hear your screams of pain. I hate those dreams Jack. Even the happy ones. Because I wake up with my face covered in tears either way. Life fucking su-"
Alex meant to continue, but he saw a pair of shoes walk past the basement window and around to the door. He didn't think anyone was supposed to be visiting, since his mom was out at a party. Gritting his teeth, he slowly stood up. The pain that shot through him almost made him collapse onto the floor, but he regained his balance and with all of his energy he some how made it up the basement stairs, through the kitchen, and to the front entrance. Being sure to wipe his face of any stray tears before hand, he opened the door. And the sight he saw before him made his heart drop and his stomach churn.
