Alex's dreams haunted him again that night. Well, haunt wasn't exactly the best word to use, in a weird way, he really enjoyed them. His dreams were the only place he could express his feelings for Jack without fear or guilt. But in an odd turn of events, his dreams made him face reality, which was something Alex just wasn't ready for yet.
Alex didn't usually have sleepovers. He didn't have any close friends that he actually enjoyed having around enough to invite over. But he was glad he had decided to let Jack stay the night. They were just sitting in his living room watching TV, it was cold so they had the fire going. They were sitting like statues on either end of the couch,each afraid to get closer than the other was comfortable with. It was cozy, the atmosphere was perfect.
"Alex Gaskarth, you are a bloody idiot." Jack laughed, breaking the silence and startling Alex.
"What?" Alex asked, dazed.
"We're sitting here. No one's home. The glow of the fire is romantically illuminating the room. Everything's perfect. And you know what we're doing? We're watching Friends reruns as we sit on opposite sides of the fucking sofa."
"Jack.. uh I though I made it clear we're uh just buddies." Alex stuttered, not believing his ears.
"Bullshit."
"Well, what would you like to do?" Alex asked, breathing deeply and trying to stop his heart from pounding out of his chest.
"Do you even have to ask?" Jack laughed darkly, climbing top of his lap , straddling him. He caressed the older boy's cheek, leaning closely to his ear he whispered "But what would you like to do Alex?" Jack's hot breath sent shiver's down his spine.
"Jack, I-I don't think this is right. I'm n-not ready. I'm s-straight r-r-remember?" Alex chocked as Jack began slowly kissing up his neck.
"Yea, you keep telling yourself that babe, your raging boner say's differently." He chuckled between kisses. Alex blushed bright crimson. He knew Jack was right. Alex wanted him. Badly. Jack was going faster now. Biting and nipping at his ear. Alex couldn't hold himself back for much longer, but he gave it one last shot.
"Jack, please stop." He pleaded, but the moan that escaped his lips sold him out, and Jack just laughed.
Jack had taken off Alex's shirt, and was working on his own. Alex finally gave in, pulling the boys white v-neck above his head and viciously locking onto his lips. Everything was going fast now, and before Alex knew what was happening Jack was on his knees in front of the couch. He didn't protest as the boy tugged on his pant's zipper.
"Are you comfortable with this babe?" Jack asked, the usual innocent look returning to his face.
"Shut up and go." Alex moaned.
"Good." Jack grinned maliciously. He pulled the other boys boxers down around his ankles and slowly slipped his hands up the inside of his bare thighs. He opened his mouth and encircled Alex's cock with his lips. He was obviously much more experienced than Alex had once thought. He knew the places that would make him gasp with pleasure. Alex was being gentle, but when the younger male giggled, he knew what he meant. He began to thrust deep into the boy's throat. Going faster and faster and faster still as he felt himself about to cum. His low savage moans made Jack's heart leap.
"JACK OH MY FUCK JACK" He gasped. "OH MY GOD JAAACK" He felt his body begin to convulse. Everything was blurry. He had never had an orgasm like this with Sam. No. This was different. He fell back into the sofa cushion and allowed the intense pleasure to wash over his body.
"Jack, unh baby unf holy fuck."
"Um Alex? Hello? Are you awake?"
"What?" Alex groaned, rubbing his eyes and sitting up to face Jack who was still by the fire.
"It's one in the morning, you were talking in your sleep." Jack laughed.
"Talking?" Alex asked nervously, his whole dream flashing though his mind.
"Groaning, moaning, gasping, calling out my name. It was quite entertaining actually."
"Why didn't you wake me up you fucking ass." Alex was both mortified and angry as fuck. Mostly with himself.
"I was gonna, but I heard you call my name, and well I was curious what you were dreaming of." Jack admitted meekly, refusing to make eye contact.
"Did you hear everything?"
"Pretty much..."
"So you know...?"
"That you're gay? Yea." Jack whispered.
"I'm not gay you fucking faggot okay holy shit this is why I didn't want anyone to know, I don't like guys, It's just you. I don't know why. It's fucked up. And it scares me Jack, it scares me more than anything I've ever experienced." Alex broke down into tear and Jack made his way beside him, pulling his head onto his shoulder and doing his best to comfort him.
"I've been through it Alex. I know exactly how you feel. I care about you too, and I just want to help, but I can't help if you keep shutting me out. I haven't even known you for a month, I've never fallen for someone this fast. I didn't know I could. But Alex, I care about you so much. I don't know if it's love, but I know it's something powerful. Please trust me. Please give all of this a chance." He pleaded desperately. His heart ached watching the older boy sob. He wanted to lift is chin and just kiss away the pain and tears, but he knew it wasn't the right time.
"Jack. Do you know what my friends would do to me if they found out? Do you know what they'd do to you? I'd literally kill Max if he laid a hand on you. I'd kill my best friend. That's a scary thought Jack. It scares me to death. But I know, I know that I'd do it in a second if he ever caused you pain. That's why I can't do this. I can't love you. I just can't." Alex looked deeply into Jack's eyes. His eyes were red and his face was blotchy but he didn't care, he wanted the boy to understand why he had to do what he was. Why he had to forget about his feelings and cut him completely out of his life.
"Alex. I can fight my own battles. I don't need you for that. But I do need you. I need your love, I need your touch, please Alex. Even if we have to live our lives in secrecy, please. This might not even last, who knows, I barely know who the real Alex Gaskarth is, I might hate him, he might have an ugly dick, who knows???" Jack attempted to bring a humorous air to the heavy conversation.
"I can't promise you anything more, but I promise no matter what happens, I care about you. I have since the first time I met you Jack. I don't know what happens now, but just know that whatever it is, I'm doing what I think is best for both of us." Alex whispered, leaning back into Jack's arms. The two stayed cuddled into the sofa, silently listening to each other's heart beat, till the sun decided to rear it's ugly head and the new day had begun.
