"Alex?" Jack whispered across the breakfast table. Alex's mother had gone to visit Ms. Kassen, leaving the boys a note in case they were still sleeping.
"Yes?" He replied, cereal spewing from his mouth, and back into his bowl, making Jack cringe. Alex was such a slob, Jack didn't know how on earth Ms. Barakat had lived with that for 18 years.
"Do you remember last night?" He whimpered meekly.
"Yes Jack" Alex chuckled, locking onto the boys gaze.
"So um what happens now? Do we tell your mom?"
"Uh tell her what?" Alex didn't like where this conversation was going, and he knew it wouldn't end well.
"That you're gay? About us? All of it?" Jack dropped his eyes to his bowl timidly.
"Haha Jack I'm not gay. There is no us. I care about you but you know that we can never actually 'date' right? I couldn't. I just couldn't." He had a sympathetic tone in his voice that just broke the other boy's heart. Jack knew that this would happen. He knew it. He'd only met Alex a few weeks before but he wasn't that complicated of a guy to figure out. Alex didn't like change. He'd do anything to avoid it.
"Alex no you said-"
"I know what I said. And this is what I think is best for us. Jack, you mean a lot to me, and I'm more attracted to you than any girl I've ever been with but this won't work. I don't want to lose my friend." Tenderly he held onto the boy's hand.
"And by friend you mean Max." Jack mumbled, pulling his hand back.
"Partly..."
"Alex please just give it a try please Alex" Watching the younger boy beg brought tears to Alex's eyes.
"Fuck Jack.. I'll try-" Jack's face lit up instantly "But no one can know, not now. I'm not ready for that." Alex felt his heart skip a beat, seeing Jack so happy made him feel like maybe he was finally doing something right.
Alex's mom was in the car on her way to Ms. Kassen's house. Her gut was filled with mixed emotions. Her son. Her son Alex William Gaskarth was gayer than Elton John. What the hell was going on. She couldn't get her head around it all. After about 5 minutes she was sitting in her good friend's house, having tea served to her while she spilled her heart out.
"I got up early this morning, you know, to make the boys breakfast. It was Jack's first morning and after the past few days I figured I would cook him something good. Make him feel welcome. It was freezing so I walked into the living room to see if the boys needed an extra blanket or something. I walked in and what did I see? The two lads sitting on the sofa together. But not just sitting. Jack wrapped in Alex's arms, his head on his shoulder. Boy's don't do that Laurain. They don't cuddle into their friends. You know who does that? Faggots. Gay boys. Not Alex."
"Joyce. Calm down okay. It's all gonna be ok. So he likes Jack. Is that so bad? It could be a lot worse" Laurain said, sitting beside her friend and smoothing out her hair.
"But this isn't how it's supposed to be! I want him to find a nice girl, get married, have kids. I want him to have what I never did. A nice normal life in a normal city with his normal family. That's all I want for Alex." She choked out between sobs. The room was spinning. Her world was collapsing in on top of her.
"But what if that's not what will make him happy. Isn't that what you should want? Your son to be happy?" She whispered with a sympathetic tone.
"I guess. But-"
"But nothing. You have to be be understanding about this. For all we know this could just be a phase. He could grow out of it. You can't make him feel awkward or unwanted, if he really does love Jack he can't just turn it off. You hear about these poor boys taking their own lives because of this very thing every day. You don't want to have to go through that."
"I have to go home and talk to him I have to g-"
"No. Let him come to you. Don't force anything dear. He'll tell you when he's ready." Laurain warned, squeezing her friend's hand. Both women smiled, not for happiness, but for the fact that they knew they had someone in the world who they could tell anything.
"I'm so sorry for all this, interrupting your morning. God, I'm so silly sometimes." Joyce laughed, wiping her eyes. "It's just that it's been hard, ya know? Raising Alex alone. Not having his father is anymore. It's been really, really hard."
"I know. It's over now."
"No. You don't know the whole story. You have no idea what happened. He didn't have a man in his life to teach him important life skills."
"Joyce Gaskarth you better shut your mouth right now. It is not your fault, it isn't anyone's fault. Who Alex is attracted to isn't some side effect from not having a dad. It's not a bad thing. Stop being ridiculous. Jack's gay. Jack is a good kid. You're being rude now." She had been calm the whole conversation but she felt herself loosing grip. Gay was not bad. Gay was not wrong. Jack was gay. So what was Joyce saying about him as she belittled her son. Laurain wanted to be helpful and sympathetic but she wouldn't put up with her friend talking down to people.
"I know dear, I'm sorry. I'm just a little shocked." That part was true. Joyce felt as though someone had unexpectedly thrown her into friged water. She didn't know if she could ever get used to it, she didn't know if she could ever accept it, at the moment it was all too surreal for her liking.
