Discovering Evelyn

[11]

chapter eleven:

*if song doesn't work on mobile: First - Cold War Kids*

Holding up a hand over my eyes, I slowly made my way out of bed. The sun was shining right through my thin curtains and currently blinding me. I walked over to the bathroom and took a look at my appearance in the mirror.

Falling asleep to stupid flashbacks was not something I enjoyed. It was horrible, it left me drained of everything, energy, happiness just everything. I sighed pulling my hair back from my face, I felt the need to examine everything closely.

I took a moment looking over my face, searching for imperfections but eventually I snapped myself out of it and got into the shower. I tried my best to let the hot water calm my senses but it as almost impossible.

I knew I was spending more time under the water than I really needed but I didn't care. Standing underneath the hot stream was slightly burning but it was nice.The slight tinge of the water was almost enough to erase the bad feeling of flashbacks.

The bad feelings of memories, of Sophie. I just wished that it was possible to scrub my skin clean of everything that had been pushed onto me in the past year.

Too bad everything was so much deeper than just the surface.

I wrapped the dark blue towel tightly around my body before heading back to my room. My mother had told me to meet her at the studio after lunch today. I looked around in my closet for a moment, trying to find something that I wouldn't mind getting dirty.

I settled for a simple black pair of leggings with a oversized blue t-shirt. I dragged brush through my hair, before messing it up with my fingers a bit. It was fine to dry on it's own today, I wasn't going anywhere special.

I grabbed my art bag, throwing my phone in the pocket before I shoved on my converse and took one last glance in the mirror.

I looked like I had just been dragged up from hell.

I groaned loudly before closing my bedroom door behind me.

As I made my way down the stairs I found Evan and our dad sitting at the kitchen table. I slowed down a bit, and tried to make my steps quiet. I was in no mood for conversing with Evan right now. Not after what I had learned last night.

My own brother had lied to me. A couple weeks after everything had happened I went on a rampage, asking him question after question.

Did he know she was planning this?

Had he seen her that day?

Did he know anyone who had been with her?

Of course he tried his best to answer, and usually the answer was a disappointment to me and would give me no new information to thrive on. I had been a mess. I had felt that if somehow I found out more it would be like she wasn't gone. It was like I was gaining information that could somehow bring her back.

In reality it was just a joke, nothing could've brought her back and in the end all the answers to the questions I asked just ended up hurting me.

I avoided their gazes as I made my way through the kitchen quickly. Trying my best to seem like I was late, and not to be bothered. Too bad that didn't stop Evan from screetchign his chair against the floor and call out my name.

I practically ran out the door when I heard his voice. I breathed a sigh of relief once I started on my all too familiar route to the studio.

Maybe today I would finally be able to lose myself in the canvas.