Fall | Janoskians fanfiction |

Chapter 19

I woke with what felt like a banging continuously droning in my head. My pillow was wet from last night’s tears and my body ached as I’d cradled myself so tightly last night. 

I used to be so strong, I used to be so strong willed, I used to be me. But now I hardly even recognised myself anymore. But I knew what I had to do. I’d hurt Luke enough in the past to risk him anymore hurt or harm. I knew exactly what Aaron was capable of and I knew his threat wasn’t empty so I had to do what he wanted.

I pulled myself out of bed, quickly showered and washed my hair, ready for a day at school. Ready to see Luke.

I walked into science early, Luke sat, his eyes glued to his phone. He looked up from his screen and his eyes lit up into a warm chocolatly colour. My stomach swirled at the sight of them, it would only make this harder. 

“Hello gorgeous.” He smiled. I walked over to him and he leant in to kiss me lightly on the lips. To him it was just one of those kisses but to me i cherished every moment. 

“Hi.” I whispered into his lips, feeling his warm breath on my lips. I knew I had to do it. Just do it.

“You trust me, don’t you?” I asked him quickly, my tone far more serious now.

“Of course.” He said, a  surprised and questionable look on his face. 

“And you’d trust me if I did something you didn’t quite get?” I asked him, tears building up in my eyes. I bit my lips hard, the pain almost easing me. 

“What are you talking about Kal?” He asked me, both his hands framing my face. His grasp was light and somewhat comforting. 

“We can’t be together Luke.” I chocked quietly, solemn tears falling from each eye. 

“But why?” His face carried a blank expression and his hands fell from my face. But he was still close enough for me to hear his shallow breaths.

“You said you trusted me Luke, even if you didn’t understand what was happening.” I told him. My voice now fell to a whisper, “just remember that I love you so so much, nothing could change that. It never has.” 

Instead of saying anything he just nodded and placed both hands on the back of my head and pulled my lips onto his. We shared a kiss like only one other kiss in my life; when I’d gone to his house to explain. It felt like our last kiss, just like this one was supposed to be. But last time it wasn’t, maybe it would be the same this time.. His lips traced mine almost gracefully and as he drew back his forehead leant onto mine. 

“I do trust you Kal.” He kissed my forehead, his hands squeezing mine before getting up and walking out the room. 

I presumed he hadn’t made the connection but I didn’t really know. 

*

The day dragged by slowly, I hadn’t seen Luke in the rest of the day. He probably just skipped for the day. I was starting to wonder if I had really made the right decision, but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do. Aaron would hurt Luke and that was a fact. 

I collapsed onto my bed and felt my phone vibrate from my blazer pocket. “I hope you and lover boy are finished babe. I’ll be over later.”

I began to grow angry as I tapped back a response: “I did what you wanted, you have to keep your side of the deal.” 

I sent the message before squeezing the phone tight and throwing it viscously towards the wall with a loud almost growl. I breathed heavily as i waited for my blood to simmer down. I heard taps of something hitting my window; I got up from my bed and peered out the window. 

I drew a sharp breath, my eyes focusing on those brown eyes: Luke. I pushed the window open as our eyes connected. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, my voice cracking slightly. I wanted so desperately to just hold him. 

“Come down and talk to me.” He almost pleaded, but his voice was soft. 

I walked slowly down the stairs and into my garden, memories of the last time this happened flooding back into my mind; Luke and his guitar. A faint smile formed on my face before it was overwhelmed by a feeling of guilt. 

I was stood infront of him but neither of us had said a single word. 

“I trust you Kal, I hope you know that, because it’s true. But I can’t not be with you anymore.” 

“It’s not that simple Luke.” I told him bluntly. 

“Why don’t you just tell me then?” he asked, his eyes wide with inquisition. 

“I can’t.” I said in nothing louder than a whisper. I could hear Aaron’s words echoing in the back of my mind as a silence fell upon us. Maybe he would shout, maybe he would scream, but he did none of those things. 

“Okay. But I promise that one day we’ll be together. Once whatever this is is over.” He smiled and pressed a deep kiss onto my lips that carried so much more meaning than was apparent. I heard a rustle behind me and we both drew apart.

“What was that?” I quickly asked.

“I don’t know, but I should go.” He said. “I couldn’t leave what happened today how it did. Even if you can’t tell me why we can’t be together, I need you to know that.”

Something inside me physically wouldn’t let me get any words out so I simply nodded ever so slightly. He smiled because he understand and he turned away, his hand running through his dishevelled curls.

I made my way back to my room, my hand reaching up to touch my lips. I perched myself on my bed and placed my head into my hands my head starting to be overcome with dizziness. 

“I thought you said you’d done what I said?” An ever so familiar voice said. I lifted my head from my hands and shot backwards. Aaron was stood in my doorway, his arms crossed and his blue eyes filled with fire. 

“I-I did. I broke up with Luke.” I stuttered. I don’t know why I was stuttering; I was telling the truth. “So you can leave him alone now.” I said more affirmatively now. 

“Then what was that little kiss about?” He asked through gritted teeth. 

That was him, the noise behind me. “I’m sorry I don’t know-“

“Well sorry’s not good enough.” He walked over to me, pulling on the collar of my shirt and pushing me up against the wall, I was now struggling to breathe. “Not when you’re my girl.” He said angrily, forcing his cold lips onto mine. My body urged him off me but he continued to force me onto the wall. I groaned with pain as he kissed me. 

He drew back and pulled my forward by the collar till my head flung backwards onto the wall. With my vision blurred and my head ringing I could hear only mumbles of how i was now his and no one else’s. I felt a blow to the stomach as his fist blew into my stomach. I fell to the floor, his foot now striking my lower back. I used my hands to cover myself but it wasn’t enough. 

I’d given up. 

“You’re mine now. Get used to it.”