fading voices [ the SEQUEL to little talks ]

[ 21 ]

kissed her in the back of a gender-neutral bathroom and had a panic attack afterwards. there is no poetry left in me. 

abby: cooper, we should talk about this. 

me: i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.

abby: it's okay, cooper, take deep breaths. 

me: oh my god, abby, i'm so sorry. 

abby: shhh. just focus on your breath.

me: please hate me. hate me like her and like him and don't look back. 

abby: you don't mean that.

me: but what if i do?

abby: shhh...

me: how can you hold me like this after that?

abby: cooper, i'm here. 

me: a-abby.

abby: i'm right here.

me: i know. 

abby: let yourself lean on me, just for now.

me: okay...

abby: there you go.

me: thank you. 

abby: shhh....

me: thank you so much. 

abby: tell me when you feel up for standing. then we'll get you home. 

me: want to get coffee first?

abby: always.