fading voices [ the SEQUEL to little talks ]

[ 22 ]

over coffee, we talked with red eyes and tiny smiles. 

abby: tell me about him.

me: what?

abby: tell me about carter.

me: i don't know if i can...

abby: you can.

me: it's just - hard. 

abby: like a dick.

me: w-what the hell?

abby: that got you to laugh! score!

me: i never thought that my brother and dick jokes would come up in the same conversation.

abby: well, now they have. so tell me just one thing. 

me: just one?

abby: i'm your friend, not a magician. 

me: hm... what to say...

abby: it can be anything. favorite color, weirdest thing he ever said, shoe size.

me: oh my god. stop with the dick jokes. 

abby: go on then.

me: well - carter... he was, uh, how do i say this...

abby: waiting.

me: he had a furry blog.

abby: pfffft. 

me: i was totally fine with it! like, to each their own. but it got real out of hand when he cosplayed as sonic. wait, i mean 'larped' - he would get so mad when i got that wrong. 

abby: was he a good sonic?

me: god no. he couldn't even run fast. 

abby: damn. gotta go fast.

me: i actually haven't been able to look at sonic memes since. i start laughing and then i catch myself and then i feel as awkwardly guilty as i do now. 

abby: thank you.

me: why are you the one thanking me?

abby: you laughed. more than once.

me: and that needs thanks?

abby: no - well, yeah. i was actually really nervous to ask you about him.

me: i couldn't tell at all, abs. 

abby: phew, mission accomplished.

me: thank you.

abby: you don't have to hold my hand.

me: it's a mini-hug because i'm too lazy to reach across the table. 

abby: you make me feel things.

me: you too, succeed in making me feel the things.

abby: but you and i both know that neither of us are ready for anything right now.

me: took the words right out of my mouth.

abby: i feel like i could cry but i'm smiling. 

me: better than playing pokemon rangers. 

abby: totes, bruh. hm... do you know tomorrow's date?

me: it's a saturday, i think. i dunno the actual date.

abby: good enough. wanna go scuba diving?

me: is this a meme i don't know about?

abby: i won aquarium tickets on the radio instead of sam smith seats. 

me: but fish are cute!

abby: i don't wanna go alone and waste the other ticket. so come with.

me: are we allowed to touch the fish?

abby: you can take pictures. i bought a water-proof disposable camera.  

me: i'm in. marry me. 

abby: not until you buy me a pumpkin spice latte. 

me: it's three-thirty in the morning.

abby: hurry up, in that case!

me: okay, okay!