Autumn Leaves

Thrym and Kennedy

'Can we go to sleep now?'

'Yes. But you need to tell me a story.'

'A story?'

'Yep. And it has to be good.'

'I'll tell you about Thrymskvidha.'

'Is that the one where-'

'It is.'

'Tell away, then.'

 'Thrym, the king of the Jotnar-'

'I thought that Laufey was the king?'

'He hasn't been crowned yet. I'll get to that part soon enough.'

'Okay then.'

'As I was saying, Thrym, the king of the Jotnar, was a very devious king. One day, he stole Thor's hammer, and-'

'Wait, I thought that Thor's hammer could only be lifted by the worthy.'

'I'm getting to that, my sweet.'

Savannah glared at him, but Loki ignored her, instead choosing to continue his tale.

'He stole Thor's hammer, and we could not find it anywhere, so we went to Freyja to ask her if we could use her feathered coat.'

'Why didn't you just ask Heimdall?'

'Because, anyone with a strong grasp of magic can hide from Heimdall's eyes. Now stop interrupting me, or I won't tell you.'

'Sorry. This was just one of the legends that confused me.'

'Thor, being incompetent, could not comprehend how the coat worked, so I went in his stead. I flew to Jotunheim, and-'

'Why didn't you just teleport, or ask Heimdall.'

'The first because it would drain a lot of my energy, and the second because Heimdall would undoubtedly tell the Allfather that Thor had been irresponsible. Anyway, I flew to Jotunheim, and asked Thrym if he had taken Thor's hammer. He replied that he had hidden the hammer 'eight leagues deep', and that none but he could retrieve it. He also said that unless he recieved Freyja as a bride, he would keep Mjolnir for himself. When I told Thor this, he rushed to Freyja, and told her that she was getting married. Needless to say, she was not very happy about this. She refused, and in desperation, Thor went to Heimdall, who told Thor that he had to dress up as a woman. He refused, and I had to remind him that with Mjolnir, the giants could easily conquer Asgard. Then, because I couldn't resist being able to see Thor getting married- as a woman, I offered to dress up as his maid, and accompany him. Eventually, we arrived, and Thor, being the pig that he is, ate an ox, eight entire salmons, and drank three caskets of mead. Thrym called for Mjolnir to be placed in Thor's lap, and as soon as Thor held it, he slaughtered everyone in the room.'

'Which is how Laufey became king, right?'

'Yes. When he fathered me, he was a lord.'

'Why wasn't he at the wedding?'

'He was off somewhere.'

'Why does it say that Farbauti is your father, then?'

'Because Snorri Sturluson didn't like me.'

'You met him?'

'Yes.'

'Who else have you met?'

'If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.'

'I never believe you.'

'Which is why I won't tell you. I'm not a name dropper. *cough-cough-Kennedy-cough*'

'You met Kennedy? As in, John Fitzgerald Kennedy? As in the 35th president of the United States?'

'No. I was simply coughing.'

Savannah hit him over the head with her pillow.