i cut myself out of peoples' lives,
because the worry,
that i'm what makes
their life worse
is nauseating.
isolating myself is much easier,
than speaking out on my feelings.
how do i word something
that even i struggle
to say in my own language?
something,
that i cannot ever find words for,
even when i search through
the millions of words
in a dictionary?
i watch movies to escape my own reality.
i have a while to pretend
that i am a part of
such a great story,
be it bad or good.
movies teach me lessons.
dead poets society?
laugh, love, write poetry, appreciate what you can do and carpe diem.
good will hunting?
don't pry into someone else's life
unless you are prepared for them
to pry into yours.
a quiet place day one?
help people, if it means they can do something you could never do.
movies are like
visual poetry to me,
and i love that.
it gives me a place
where i can forget;
that my life is so bland,
all i ever do is rot,
all i'm good for is art
and that i can never love
someone the right way.
it makes me think,
that i can be the good guy
for a few hours.
i can't speak to my therapist,
without choking on my words.
i feel like if i say the wrong thing,
my whole world's gonna crumble
in front of me.
everything that i tried so hard
to keep from falling
is gonna fall down with me.
