who i am and why i'm not (poetry)

goodbye

a gentle melody

caresses my soul as I watch

the violinist play.

she has her eyes closed

as she sings,

praying that somewhere off in

the distance,

her friend can hear

his favorite songs one last time.

his boss steps up to the podium,

clearing his throat and the dust

off of 20 years of memories together.

"a great man has come and gone,

and this world aches at the loss

of his kindness, his strength, his light."

we ache.

another person stands up to speak,

fueled by the trust and love

the man put in him before

he passed.

his hand shakes as he attempts

to portray a picture of the

wonderful person he was blessed

to know.

tears overcome him as

acceptance

blooms into another flower

that dawns the casket.

with great ferocity, great love,

and the greatest loss,

his voice quivers.

"I'm going to miss my friend."

the pastor walks up to the podium,

well rehearsed in sadness,

but nevertheless full of grief

at the death of such a

beautiful father, husband, human.

"he is with the lord, the angels, and

the light, watching over his

wife and daughters, his friends

and family.

he can't wait to hug you girls

again someday, and he will be

in every piece of our hearts."

music sweeps our weeping

souls as each

person says goodbye to the man,

but I secretly keep my goodbyes.

I want him to stay in my mind.

I want to remember his

strength and grace and

beauty.

what a life.

how his love touched so many

people, his laughter floated through so

many days.

what a life we own, one brief and

quiet from far away, but

exploding with color when you

look into a pair of passionate eyes.

what a life, because even after his

is over, he lives on in us.

I too hope that he can hear me from

off in the distance.

"you did good.

never goodbye."

-V