"In my Shadow" - Miya Atsumu Angst (with happy end)

Alt.01 Chapter 6: Night Light

Chapter 6: Nightlight

"Tsumu? We actually… we moved after you disappeared." Aran spoke up carefully.

Atsumu nodded weakly against Sakusa's chest.
"I know. I was there."
His voice was still strained and at this point talking was almost painful. Sakusa's grip on him tightened. His voice was soft and sent comforting shivers down his spine as he spoke them against his hair.

"I'm sorry… living there without you… it was too painful."
He knew. He understood at least somewhat. He nodded weakly again trying to ignore the way the shadows seemed to be reaching for him from all sides. His hands were balled into Sakusa's shirt as he clung on for dear life.
Sakusa kept a hand on his back and soothingly rubbed over it whenever he felt him tens at a sudden noise or for apparently no reason at all.

They stopped at a house Atsumu had never seen before. Smaller than their previous one and looking a little rough at the edges.
"We rushed the move so we didn't have much to choose from."

"I like it," he whispered.
He meant it. He missed the familiar feeling of home associated with their last house but... the last house was also so the one she broke into, stole from and stakled him... All things considered, this was safer, better.

Inside Kita gave him a quick overview but Atsumu was too tired to actually acknowledge and process the information and he seemed to notice that as well. He gave him a soft smile and gently guided him to the bathroom.
"I could draw you a bath. Maybe it'll help a bit."

Atsumu gulped and shook his head. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Just the thought of having to take off his clothes and expose himself like that... Being so vulnerable once more caused shivers to haunt down his spine.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it then."
His hand was already at the door when images of the basement door falling shut flashed before his eyes and Atsumu's body turned rigid, overcome with a sudden fight-or-flight response.

"Don't!"
"..."
"Please don't..."
He felt pathetic asking for this but the thought of being alone again scared him too much to care. When he was alone, the lights could go out any moment, he could be in pain any second, he could—

"Okay. I'm here. I won't leave."

The blonde took a deep shaky breath and nodded, fighting himself out of where he had froze on the spot.
With slow unsteady movements, he began to undress, noticing from the corner of his eye how Kita looked away to give him as much privacy as possible in their situation. He failed however when he noticed the bruises on his arms where she had grabbed him too tightly.
Or the one on his side where she had 'nudged' him to wake up, the scratches he inflicted on himself in a desperate attempt to feel something in the dark and drown out his mind, or the overall weight loss he had endured, which luckily wasn't as bad. She had given him food.

He saw how Kita out of all people struggled to compose himself and forced deep breaths of air into his lungs to regain control.
"The police requested pictures as evidence. Do you feel up for it?"

Atsumu nodded wordlessly and allowed Kita to position him how he needed him to take the pictures. He flinched at his touch even though he tried fighting it and every time Kita's touch became more fleeting and swift. He didn't want that but his voice was gone.

"All done. I will wait here if you want me to."
He nodded wordlessly and stepped into the shower. Even as the warm water hit him he was shivering all over. He hated this. His skin burnt and hurt and he felt nauseous.

He felt so exposed and powerless. All his instincts seem to scream at him to simply curl up into a ball and hide away form everything. 
He had to force his muscles to move and scrubbed vigorously over his skin until it reddened at some spots. When it became to much he changed the temperature to cold to counter the upcoming panic.