"In my Shadow" - Miya Atsumu Angst (with happy end)

Alt.01 Chapter 3: Shadow Hours

Chapter 03: Shadow Hours

Atsumu could have cried as he stepped out of the train station in Okasa. Finally, the buildings around him made sense again. He knew where he was.

And that meant he knew where to go.

He took a deep breath uncaring about all the odd looks he earned. He hadn't looked in a mirror for months, the only image he had seen of himself was the reflection in the train window, and that had been too devastating to look at for long.

He knew that he was malnourished and pale, knew that Haru had only cut his hair sporadically and with little care to the final result. He knew that his clothes although fairly fresh still clung to his body drenched in sweat that slowly dried against his skin.

He could feel all that, he didn't need to see it as well.

Part of him wanted to make himself look presentable before facing his boyfriends. If only to minimize their worry regarding his well-being or their discomfort in Sakusa's case.

However, just the thought of waiting longer than necessary before seeing them again made his stomach turn and twist in painful knots. No, being with them and showing that he was beyond doubt alive was more important.

He didn't want to waste a single second longer than necessary apart from them and... Osamu.

He had forbidden himself to think of his brother these past days. Even now after his escape was somewhat successful it hurt too much to consider seriously.

He had only lost his twin by distance. Being torn from his side and kept away hurt like hell but... to Osamu... it was worse. He was dead...

Just the thought of their positions being reversed made him want to vomit again. He couldn't lose Osamu... ever! But Osamu had lost him and if it felt anything to him like it would to Atsumu he didn't know how to make amends for that.

Wandering the familiar streets of his hometown brought one very uncomfortable side effect. The thrill of recognizing his environment again was overshadowed by the feeling of being watched. This was where Haru had followed him.

The train he took to get to their house was the same he had met her for the first time since she started stalking him. He tried to push these memories aside and convince himself that she couldn't have returned to Osaka that quickly.

He tried to focus on the mornings he spent here with Sakusa on their way to practice. Or the times they went on a date on the outskirts of the city. He finally allowed himself to bask in the memories he shared with his boyfriends again now that he'd see them soon.

The pain that tainted them was dulled. He'd be able to heal it once he felt their arms around him.

...

That had been the plan but it cut all the deeper when he arrived at what was supposed to be their house only to find a for sale sign on the lawn.

His knees gave out and he collided with the pavement to his feet.

For him time had stood still these past months but from them, it must have been moving more rapidly than ever.

He couldn't breathe. He should have known that things wouldn't be the same upon returning home no matter how much he needed it but this?!

He didn't even have a home to return to.

He shivered and for a moment panic threatened to over take him. The slowly setting sun and growing shadows didn't improve that.

With force, he slammed his fist into the ground hard enough that the skin broke, and the sticky red substance he came to hate so much, seeped out from small cuts and scrapes.