Wayward Wolf - Completed

Bitter Sweet

 

Chapter 25 - Bitter Sweet

~Alexis POV~

"I bet you missed this as much as I did," I commented to Gunner as we stood on our old hill, watching the sun come up. 

It still had that unbelievable calming effect on me, as if I was always calm and lives no longer depended on me.

I really needed this time to think. 

One question was on my mind, no matter how hard I tried to think of something else.

Duke said that he knew about my abilities, who I was, for a long time. Yet, he was only a few years older than me when Gerald took us. No way he learned about me before then, from his family, who I assumed at this point were also in the pack. He wasn't some orphan that Gerald adopted. He was a boy he spared, meanwhile killing his parents. 

Which was another thing on my mind as well. Why spare Duke? Why spare me? Did Gerald always know who I was or did he learn afterwards and just didn't have the heart to kill two innocent kids. The latter would explain why Austin escaped alive. 

With everything I now knew, there were still a load of questions unanswered. 

But, back to the first question. How did Duke find out about me? No way he learned at three years old - I could barely remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what happened when I was three. He must have found out sometime while we were growing up. But from who?

Did Gerald tell him? Did Duke come across something?

I needed to ask him, but I was scared. What if I hurt him again? If I lose my cool again, he may not survive this time. I both hated and loved my new found abilities at the moment. On one hand, I felt even more free - knowing that I had this great power inside of me, capabilities of which were still unknown. But, on the other hand, the capabilities were unknown. I didn't know if I'd always be this unstable, this afraid of hurting those I love around me.

What if I hurt Mason next? 

I drew in a shaky breath, closing my eyes and vanishing the thought. I couldn't even bear to consider the possibility. I needed to get these powers under control. Until then, I had to keep my distance from people as much as possible. I was alright with Mason and Austin, though. But that was only because the situation wasn't upsetting to me. It was more or less a calm situation, considering the situation's I've been in. 

So long as everything was calm and cool as steel, I could be around people.

Well...I guess this makes going to school nearly impossible. One look from Stacy and I'd torch the place in no time!

I got back on Gunner and continued to ride around a bit, getting him a good work out because I had a feeling my days of riding him were numbered. 

When I got him back to the barn I put him in his stall while I took care of the other horses. I swept the place a little, fed all the horses and put them out in the pasture, same as every morning.

I left Gunner in his stall, though, because I wanted to talk with him a little bit. I watched as he hung his head over the stall door, probably wondering why I was starring at him so intently.

I felt my eyes start to water, feeling the dread of what I was about to say to him. I petted his face as I spoke. "I love you, Gunner. More than you'll know. You helped to heal me when I thought no one could. I was so lost and confused before. I carried a pain that consumed me every day. But being around you...You taught me how to be free again. Never thought you'd ever let me ride you, being a Stallion and all. But you did, and that was one of the happiest days of my life." He nudged me again and I snorted a laugh, wiping a few tears. "I know my place in the world now. I understand what I have to do." I sighed. "And I think I just realized now that...I have to do it alone. At least for now. I can't put the people I love in danger. That includes you." I sniffled. "I'm...I'm going to miss you, Gunner. I'll be back, but I don't know when. I just want you to know that you helped me get back my life. I never could have done this without you. This power means nothing. It's the love that we shared that gave me real power." I walked away from him, going into the feed room and grabbing my back pack. I've kept this bag here for months now, just waiting for something bad to happen. It was my 'get away' bag. My back up plan, I guess. I wished I'd never have to use it, but my ride just now cleared my head. I didn't know I was doing this until a few minutes ago, but I knew I had to.