Time Gone By ✡ NCIS TIVA Fanfiction

Chapter 15

She knew she was breathing, but she also knew that that was the only thing she was currently doing.

How long had she been away again?
Her body was almost done fighting whatever kept her asleep.

Take your time,
she told herself,
or you'll faint right ten minutes after waking up, again.
She took her time.
Was it half an hour? Were it two hours?
All she knew was that time passed and she grew a bit stronger again.

Now, she thought. She formed her hand into a fist and slowly opened her eyes.
Her headache was gone. She could move. She could see.
Even though these were such simple things, it felt like a giant achievement.

Ziva sat up and stroke her hair out of her face. These weren't the white walls of the hospital any more; this place was familiar to her...
"Gibbs?"

"Ziva!" It was Tony who answered.
He hurried to get next to her to stabilize her, but she didn't seem to need it.

"I'm alright, I'm good. It's over."
"What's over?"
"I'm done fighting these ... drugs. I'm done passing out all the time."
She smiled at him weakly.

"Where do you know from that it were drugs?" Gibbs interjected from the other end of the room. He was still sitting at the kitchen table.

"I don't know, I was just guessing. It's the most logic answer."
"Whatever it was, you're lucky it didn't kill you." Tony answered.

A short laugh came out of Ziva's mouth; then her face turned serious again. "If they'd want me dead, I'd be dead since they managed to give me whatever they gave me. I'm lucky that I got you two who got me out before they could take any step farther to kill me."

"Who are they?" Gibbs wanted to know. "They've been tracking me since Israel. I never confronted them, logically, I mean look at me."

"Look at you what?" Tony said.

He didn't want her talking about herself like this; he wanted to tell her that she looked good.

"I am pregnant, Tony. I haven't fought since four months and I won't because I got one little alien growing in my tummy and I won't let anyone hurt it.
And in addition to that, I've been running ever since I gave up NCIS.
Running from my problems, from my life, from you..."

Her voice cracked and she avoided looking into his eyes.
He couldn't deny it was true.

"We all do that somehow, running. It's alright, it's perfectly normal. No one criticizes you that for." He did his best to comfort her.

Gibbs felt unnecessary, so despite all his questions he stood up to leave. He knew that DiNozzo would ask them for him.

"I'm going downstairs. If you need me, I'm in the cellar."

"You don't have to -"Tony started, but it was just to be nice and Gibbs knew that.
He descended the stairs to leave the two of them alone.

"I'm sorry Tony. What I did was selfish." Ziva murmured.

He wanted to say something, but she continued:
"I never should have come back. Now they're after you, too. I don't even know who they are. But I put all of you in danger, just because I was so, so selfish..."

"Are you kidding?
If you wouldn't have returned, Ziva, it would have destroyed me.
I waited every day for you,
hoped every free second that you'd change your mind and come back.
You can't imagine how much, how incredibly much I thought about you,
all the time.

I thought about what I could have done different,
what I could have done better so you'd stayed with me.
You say you are selfish but you saved me by coming back,
don't you understand that?"

All the rage of the past month had flown out of his mouth within these few sentences. Tony bit on his lip.

A long silence followed.

"What's the point of that when they're going to kill us both now?" Ziva whispered.

"They're not going to get even close to you.
You know Gibbs and you know me.
We won't let anyone hurt you ... and the alien growing in your tummy."

Ziva smiled, not bright of joyful,
it was a broken smile full of worries and hidden thoughts.

Tony laid his arm around Ziva's shoulder and pressed her against him. She rested her head on his chest.

"Tell me you won't ever leave me again" He whispered.

"I'll never leave you again." She promised; her hands on her tummy where she could feel the heartbeat of the baby.

His hands stroke carefully over her hair, then her cheeks.
He wanted to live in this moment forever.

The words he wanted to tell her since so long rested on his lips, but they didn't leave his mind.

Tell her,
everything inside him screamed,
tell her before something horrible happens again.

He didn't.