Chapter 16

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He didn't know how long they lay there like this.
She breathed slowly and he kept playing with her hair.

"You must have so many questions." Ziva murmured. Tony nodded.
"What was it that they gave you?"
"I'm not sure. I couldn't move, but I heard everything that happened around me. It was like I was tied and mute, it felt awful.
I felt the flames touching my skin, but I couldn't escape the fire.
I couldn't warn you. In the hospital, I was awake shortly and I needed to inform you about these people who've been tracking me. I was so weak, I didn't even reach you.
I hadn't felt so dumb and helpless in my life before. Whatever this was, I never want to be given that again; to anyone. The thing is that I'd have hunted these bastards down myself if I weren't that debilitated by everything that happened, the pregnancy... I hate feeling so fragile."

"You have the right to be a bit weak once a while, even more when you're pregnant. Give yourself a break; eat a cake with Abby while we catch the bad guys.
And we're going to catch them, I promise, no one's going to drug you again."
"I think I wouldn't be able to bare it."
"You wouldn't bare it when we catch them?"

"I wouldn't bare seeing Abby or anyone of them. What I did isn't excusable. I can't just walk up to her like hey, I ran away from my problems and all of you three months ago without leaving any message or reason, but here I am again! By the way, I'm pregnant, let's eat cake!"
She sat up, worriedly stroking her hair out of her face.

"You know that Abby isn't unforgiving. Everyone would just be glad to have you back. Like me."

She looked up into his eyes, not sure if he was just trying to make her feel better. He didn't look away.

"Don't you even want to know how I could do this to you?" Ziva asked silently.
"All that matters to me is that you came back." He replied.

She looked away.
"Why do you forgive me so easily? There's so much blood on my hands and I can't wash it off,
I caused so much unhappiness, killed so many people and left a scar in the heart of the ones who loved them,
so please understand me when I don't think I deserve -"

"You deserve everything good in the world.
You deserve to have a baby; you deserve to be a ballerina, if that's what you want.
You deserve to be happy" Tony interrupted.

She looked down.

His voice dropped as he added:
"We deserve to be happy."

Her eyes met his again. "How could we ever be happy like this?" Ziva murmured.

"I don't think I need much to be happy" He answered calmly.

"What do you need then?" Her voice wasn't more than a whisper. He didn't even blink while replying.
"I need you."

The entire earth seemed to stand still.
No single bird sang, and silence filled the room.
Every last bit of air seemed to have been sucked out of his lungs.
He couldn't breathe.

For a second, he felt like he was drowning until her lips slowly touched his.
Tony respired again and everything inside him exploded.

Ziva placed her hand in his neck and pulled him closer, never wanting to let him go again. She felt fireworks in her stomach.

She had forgotten how it felt to kiss him, how fast it made her heart beat.
His hands found hers and he squeezed them, like in the hospital.

The kiss seemed to last endless, until both of them were completely out of breath. They rested their foreheads on each other's, the eyes still closed.

"I missed you every single day" Tony whispered. She opened her eyes and looked into his. Then she kissed him again, even more passionate than the first time.

His hands went through her long hair and he felt more alive than ever before.
All he wanted to do was stay like this forever.
With her lips on his, his entire world felt soft and warm.

"We should probably get things clear. Find out what we're up against. Shouldn't we?" Ziva murmured after a while.

"That can wait." Tony replied and kissed her lips softly again.
"I just want to make sure that you're completely safe before we do anything risky, you know?"

She rested her head on his chest and he stroked her brown curls.
"That's the only reason?" Ziva looked up into his eyes, a mischievous smile on her lips.

Tony caressed her jaw line before leaning down to another long kiss.
"You know it's not the only reason."

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