If I die

Fail

A/n: none of how phil feels is true.
Phil-
Dan has been sleeping with me for the past week. He doesn't know that I have a massive crush on him. How can I not?
He is so beautiful and perfect in every single way. From his eyes, that may seem brown but when they hit the sunlight they light up and tiny rays of gold come out from the pupil, to his personality in the way he can be friendly but also incredibly awkward and cute.
Then there's me. I just bring him down. He only keeps me around because he feels sorry for me. The 2 million people that subscribe to me feel sorry for me.

"I know what you're thinking?" He says.

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking." He repeats.

"What then?"

"You're thinking you're worthless aren't you?"

I move my head up and down slightly.

"Phil you are anything but worthless."

Bull.

"You have saved so many lives."

Bull.

"People need you."

Bullshit.

"Okay." I pretend to believe him.

"I know you don't believe me." He sighs.

"I do."

"No you don't."

"Fine. How did you know."

"I just do okay? Don't ask questions!" He says quickly.

I gulp.

"I'm sorry.. It's just.. The past and stuff."

"Sure." I say not paying full attention to whatever lies he his telling me now.

"I'm not helping am I?"

I shake my head.

"I'm failing." He groans.

No Dan I'm failing. I'm failing at being normal, I'm failing at not being a complete freak.

"Phil, you are amazing just, trust me on that okay?"

"Whatever." I mumble.

*Time skip.*

"Okay, I'm doing this." I whisper to myself.

I turn the camera on.

"Hey guys." I say just loud enough to be heard.

"So I want to be honest here. I'm not really.. happy right now. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I feel like Dan must have said something."

I scratch the back of my neck.

"I just don't really feel the best at anything right now. I mean you guys don't care. Dan's the big deal here. I never helped anyone."

I pull my sleeves even further up to make sleeve paws.

"So yeah. Mini update, although I don't know why I'm doing this cause.. no one cares. Okay see ya guys." I switch the camera off.

I send the video to my computer and just upload it unedited.

Who can bother anyways?