Letters to Italy

36. Friday the 13th

As a witness for my brother, I had to go to the microphone to give a little speech in front of everyone in the church. I was so nervous, I sometimes had to say sentences again because I messed up. And you could clearly hear my nervousness in my voice. I told Jonas not to do it on a Friday the 13th. Well, this is what you get when you don't listen. Because apparently, for me, Friday the 13th didn't bring me a lot of luck yet. I was most of the time nervous because I knew Il Volo was listening and watching too. But I tried to do my very best and at the end of reading the paper, everyone smiled and seemed to be happy. So I didn't fail entirely.

After the ceremony in the church we all went to a beautiful building, with inside an even more beautiful party hall. "Wow!" Liene said when she walked into the room. "Indeed!" I said. I stiffened when I saw Gianluca, Piero and Ignazio walk by. They didn't saw me I think. "Hey look, it's Gianluca."

"I know", I said short.

"Didn't you want to say hi?" I ignored the question. "Aline, I thought you wanted to talk to him again."

"They're too busy right now," I said, hoping she wouldn't talk further about it. But she did. "There are a few people complimenting them on their singing in the church. That's all. I'm sure if Gianluca sees you he leaves the rest behind and wants to talk to you too!"

"I'm not sure," I said. Okay, I admit, I was too shy again, too nervous to just walk over to Gianluca and talk. Like nothing happened. Like I didn't feel a single thing for him anymore. I was not an actress. I couldn't just go to him and act like we were friends and it was nice to see each other again after so much time. But Liene was sure it was what I had to do.

"You can't ignore them! You can't ignore Gianluca! That's weird...and...rude and..."

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll talk to him later," I said because I saw them go to the microphones, "but now he really is busy!" I was kinda happy they really hadn't time so I had some more minutes to mentally prepare for it.

"I'll make sure you do it! And if nessecery, I'll drag you to them with my own hands!" She showed me her hands to tell me she could be very strong. Believe me, I already knew that.

Liene and I were standing at a table with some nieces and cousins. Everyone was having fun and laughing and telling stories all the time. But I was distracted because I heard Il Volo sing with their angel voices. They were singing songs I never heard before. Maybe it were new songs from Il Volo. Or it were just covers from other beautiful songs. Apparentely I missed a lot over the past two years.

I was standing on a round table with my back toward the imaginary stage where Il Volo was performing so I couldn't see them. I was wondering what Gianluca was thinking during singing. Was he seeing me? Perhaps I was really exaggerating and he had really forgotten about me. Maybe he didn't even feel the urge of talking to me again or seeing me after al these months. In my head I counted again. In three months after today, it would be three years Gianluca and I met each other for the first time. And now it were two years and two months after we broke up.

"Hey Aline," Liene said while she hit me softly with her hand, "look...they're not performing anymore. You can go now!" She pointed to the imaginary stage.

My stomach turned. "Noooo" I thought.
"Eh..." I said.
"Don't hesitate! Just do it. I'll go with you. But you have to talk to them first! And by 'them' I mean Gianluca in particular." Liene kept trying. She ignored the fact I really didn't want it. Or I wanted it...but I didn't want to go to him and start talking myself. He could come to me too.

"Okay", I finally said. I quickly turned around and ... I just hit a waiter with a bottle of wine in his hand. Because it was still Friday and still the 13th, he had to drop it of course. I jumped aside on time to not get wine stains all over my dress. The bottle bursted into hundred little pieces. But that was not the worst part. Everyone looked at me and the poor waiter in front of me.

"I'm so sorry!" I said. I wanted to cry but I knew that wouldn't be very mature of me. It was just a stupid accident but for me it was a sign, this was not the good moment to go to Gianluca. For me it was Friday the 13th. The only thing I could think of that moment was 'run'. So I went to the restroom and locked myself up for a moment. But Liene must've thought I was going to kill myself or so, because she followed me immediately.

She knocked on the door. "Aline?"

"No."

"Aline, it was just a stupid accident. The waiter isn't angry at you!"

I didn't care about the waiter. This time not even about more than a hundred people staring at me. The problem was, Gianluca was part of that group of people staring at me. I was sure about that. And it felt like everything went wrong. So I was really afraid to do stupid things in front of Gianluca.

"Aline, come out please! Then we can talk better."

"No."

"Why are you saying no?" she asked.

"It's better I don't leave until this day is over!"

"Come on!" she said. "You can't be serious. It's your brother's wedding! In Italy. You have to be there, every little second. You're gonna regret it later if you don't."

"But it's Friday the 13th! I don't want to screw this whole party up. I think, afterwards, I'll regret it more if i do screw it up."

"You're just nervous. It has nothing to do with numbers or days." I didn't respond.

"It's only from nervousness that you act a bit clumsy."

"You see! You also think I'm clumsy.I still think it's better I stay here for some more time."

It was quiet for a while.

And then Liene suddenly said something again.

"Ehm, Aline...here is someone for you!"