Fighting Darkness

Chapter Seven

He asked me out to coffee, plain and simple. Only if someone said "going to coffee," actually meant going to coffee. Now I'm about to sit in an intervention about how Derek is horrible... As if I didn't know. I think I can tell for myself who I can trust and who I can't, but then again I've fallen into a horrible cat and mouse game.

I told Nathan getting coffee sounded good and that I'd meet him tomorrow.

The heavy comforter feels soft against my pale skin skin. Rubbing on the scratches that didn't heal up as good, and as quickly. The irritation makes me move my right leg to another position that won't be as comfortable as I want, but you get what you get.

My eyes won't get heavy, but my body racks with the sleeplessness I've lost over the course if a week. Recapping I go over the adventures that have happened.

Monday- Sapphire and the jump.

Tuesday- Didn't see Nathan

Wednesday- Locked in the room

Thursday- I'm living it.

2:45 A.M Friday, April 17

Surprisingly, Derek hasn't laid a hand on me since Tuesday. I jumped late at night, so I guess you can count that as Tuesday.

Slumber is what I want, and slumber is what I won't get. More time flashes in my face, red numbers line the colored wall, screaming at me that I shouldn't be up; I don't listen.

Maybe I shouldn't be up, but what's keeping me up? Not the thought of Derek or Nathan. Not even Sapphire. It's myself.

I hate myself.

Anger shoots through me as I shoot up in bed, letting the covers unsettle and a pillow topple to the floor.

I hate myself, because I let myself get into this. I let myself look like this. I taught myself this was right! I thought this was right! This isn't right!

I slump in bed digging my finger nails into the sheets beside me and pulling my heads into my knees. I taught myself this. I thought to myself.

Dizzy is all I see, a blur piling the room. Color splashed upon color and blur upon blur. Gripping the sides of the bed I haul myself up trying to walk. Shaking feet lead the way, closer and closer to the bathroom door; I grip the handle, pushing open with blue scenery to drown me in. Head whips to the mirror looking at the reflection I can't see, but I know it's looking back at me.

The normal me. The one that's not confused. Smiling wickedly at the state I'm in.

My knees give out under the weight I'm bearing; crashing hard into the floor that is tile, with loud crunches to be echoed behind. My stomach heaves up, gripping my middle, I crawl to the toilet near by. Insides cave in as hurl after hurl rack through my fragile body.

Weakly, I grab the handle, letting every food that was left in me, down.

The alarm screeches for me to get ready. Ready for coffee...

"Where are you going?" The husky voice I grew to hate, creeps by me, as a cold chill runs down my spine. I turn around, hand still on the door and feet still unplaced.

"I want to visit my Grandma B," I stutter because I know its a lie. "She fell and needed my help today." His demanding presents, subsides like you're talking to a little boy.

Derek nods his head solemnly, as he shuffles to my side. Heels dragging against the wooden floor, to be by my side.

"Well, have a good time." The words are forced out of his mouth, making both me and him question what he's saying. A simple nod leaves him, as two giant arms wrap around my torso.

I stifle in his grip, tensing every muscle in my body. The cat has finally gotten the mouse, and the mouse might be dead in five seconds.

Derek lets go and backs up to be in the living room. I grab the door handle before I hear my name. "Yes?" I say in a questioning tone.

"You look nice." His attention goes back to the television that's playing MTV.

"Thanks?" I question before I walk out the door, jogging down the stairs.

My batman shirt and light shorts, hang on my body, but have a perfect fit. The grey Vans stand out poorly with this outfit.

The front door opens, as an old man and his wife walks in. He mutters a hello; holding open the door for me.

The musty air and humidity mix together with the smell of rain.

How do I look nice? I wonder.