Fighting Darkness

Chapter Twenty

HEY!!! Sorry for all the caps, but your feedback is amazing! I love how you tell me what you like, and love when you make suggestions.:) Just to let ya'll know that my updates will be quicker, because ya know schools out:)!

****Paige****

It feels like, if I don't have Nathan, I'm lost. He's the map, and if I don't have him I don't know where to go. He's the light; I'm in the dark without him, I'm lost, I'm frozen, I'm completely and utterly alone.

Nathan's body lies unmoved. I can tell he stayed up a while, by the way his chest falls heavily. Toned chest peaks out from the covers protection, sending goosebumps up his arms. These months, have been a roller coaster ride that I can't get out of. I'm permanently stuck in the seat, letting the harness take my breath away. I want off, of course I want off, but it feels like every time I do, someone pushes me back. My feelings are mixed. Two-faced is what I am. I love both of them, I live for one, and I want the other; now it's time to decide who I want.

Nathan's curly brown locks tickle my bare arm. His eyes flutter open, revealing a beautiful green, speaking every word his mouth can't say.

"Hey." He mutters, pulling the duvet up more. Nathan's back it toward me, while I face him, tracing invisible shapes into his tan skin.

"Hey." I whisper. My breath hitting him.

"How long have you been up?"

I shrug my shoulders even though he can't see it. He nods his head like he knows the actions I just did.

"What are we doing?" I ask, turning my body to look at the ceiling. Nathan repeats my motions, letting his face fall towards mine. "All we do is fight."

"Don't start." He growls. Throwing the covers off of him; walking to his closet. The black shirt he put on sticks to him like glue. As far as the jeans that sag, showing off the grey underwear. Hair tussled and body clean, he stays in the bathroom, either waiting for me to get ready, or I don't want to know.

I have no clothes, but I guess I can wear the pants I came in, and take one of his shirts. The white hanger slips off the fabric, leaving it shaking back and forth. White material covers my body with a big logo on the front. Obey®. It reads, red letters that look like their bleeding. I push the bathroom door open, letting Nathan push past me, knocking my shoulder in the way. Makeup is smeared from my eyes dropping down into my cheek. It looks like tears ruined it, but I don't remember crying. Grabbing the faded wash rag on the handle, dabbing the black smudges that seems to reappear. His draws remain half open, as some stuff falls out. Leopard underwear, that clearly can't be his, and tons of paper that have digit after digit written on it. It feels as though this is how he accompanied his time when we aren't together.

The brown waves of hair fall to my mid back, in ringlets, chocolate brown eyes starting to turn gold. Almost caramel looking. I changes to be who I wanted to be; now I'm so sure who I am. It's all been a daze. Everything feels like a blur, the tile swims up around my feet turning into long green snakes. The black, tight cut up top, and flown on the bottom, black dress is places on my sobbing body. Snakes snaps at my feet causing an escapes muffle to leave my lips. Things don't get clearer, in fact, it gets worse. "Paige?" I hear a voice say from above. I look up but find only a leaking ceiling, roaches fall through the cracks, landing on everything except me.

The voice calls out my name again, but I'm violently on the ground tugging at the suffocating dress. "Help me." I whisper, as one of the snakes faces' goes up to mine. "It's all for you, pretty girl." It hisses, tongue smacking against his fangs. I lay my side down not caring if these creatures get on me. The roaches feet are covered in blood, tiny specks of their trails line my arms, creating a canvas no one can replicate. The small things makes it way up to my face, looking into my eyes, before biting in one.

"What's happened to her?" I hear a scruffy voice say. White walls cover the small room, machines line the walls, while three are in my arm.

"She went into shock, but it's very rare for someone just to go into shock." The unknown mans voice says. "I'll let you go in and see her. Try to find out any information." Heavy footsteps find my doorknob, my eyes stare straight at the blank TV that hangs from a holder.

Nathan's hair is rumpled with wetness, and tossed around from a breeze. Clothes slightly wrinkled, his Pink Floyd T-shirt fits like a glove, while his pants still sag even with a belt.

"What did you do?"He bellows, trying to keep his voice low. I sit up more in my hospital bed. The room seems to get smaller, suffocating and crushing everything in it.

"I didn't do anything." Arguing won't work, in the last months, we've been stuck. Standing in quicksand unable to move, and if we keep yelling we'll only go down deeper. While he might be at his waist, I'm neck high. I cause all the problems, but this time I didn't try to end it.

"Bullshit!" Nathan walks over, putting his face right in front of mine. Breath minty; the smell of cologne lingers off of him, filling my nostrils with the tangy fragrance. "You went into my bathroom to do God knows what, and when I went in you're passed out!"

"I don't know what happened, Nathan." The tiny fabric of the gown seems to become thinker, sweat builds up, but nothing falls off my face.

I need a panic button, calling any nurse to my aid, as of right now, I'm not sure what Nathan is capable of. My wrist has been wrapped, swelling down, but the computation in my head is making me think, one wrong move and I won't see tomorrow. "Just be happy you're not dead, because I swear-"

"Honey," a sweet voice interrupts his ranting. Nathan's body stands straight up from my side, and going closer to the door. "You have another visiter, and only one at a time." She senses something's wrong. Thank you! I want to scream, but my throat closes up, a soft squeak and a nod is what's said into the thin aggressive air.

Nathan walks out as the nurse follows, the lanky visiter walks in taking a seat across the room. Black SnapBack and grey hoodie cover up his body and most of his face, torn jeans, that are from Hollister, judging by the stupid bird that hangs on the pocket. Even of I can't see his face the beautiful blue eyes stick out like my worst enemy in a crowded room.

"Hey, babe." He smiles, removing the hat.

"Don't call me that." My voice shrieks higher. I'm scared. Even though people could hear what could go on, the blinds are drawn and this room is thick.

A small smirk places his lips, the lips I once loved, I once kissed and I once longed for, now I burned every memory of him in the back of my mind.

"Oh, come on." His tough built figure strides across the room, boots clanking on the tile, placing himself on the foot of the bed.

"I want you out." My boney finger points to the wood door, but he seems to have no interest in leaving. The laugh. That stupid laugh, falls from his lips. His right hand grabs my chin, making my direction go to him and only him. Blue eyes frozen in ice, nothing is holy about what's going to happen.

"You're going to go home and-"

"No I'm staying wi-"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch. I'm talking." His hand grips harder, while mine yank at his wrist, trying to loosen the grip.

"As I was saying, you're going home. You're going to like it, and when we get home, there's a surprise." Derek hisses the last word, surprise. Most people think it's good to get one, but for me it means hate. The grip of his hand loosens, and I know there's a red mark left. Cold, unwanted lips reach my forehead before dropping down to my ear.

"Nathan can't protect you." Two long strides and he's out the door, leaving the black SnapBack, and tears down my face.