Fighting Darkness

Chapter Sixteen

I get this is short but all the emotion in it, I feel, has more of a meaning.:)

***Nathan*** 

"He was in the stupid cafe, mom!" My explaining to her about the past weeks have failed. I grab a glass from the cupboard filling it up with water from the tap. Taking a seat, mom grabs my large hands with hers. "I told her I loved her, and she walked away." I sigh letting my back sink into the chair. Mom looks at me with caring eyes, studying my face, trying to put herself in my position, but I don't think it's working. "I could tell you everything will be okay, but I don't know if it will." She sighs, letting the air she breaks out hit the curls that land on her face. "I don't-" I search for words twisting my face up, making my mind discover some that will fit. "I don't want loose her. I do love her, but that Derek. He's- he's an idiot, and all I do-"  

"Have you ever thought she may still be in love with this Derek person?"  

The answers no; she knows I haven't, she know I don't think about anyone else but myself in certain situations. I want Paige to love me, to hold me when I'm scared, kiss me when I'm right, just always be there; now that's a long shot, she's at home probably having a celebration. I pick my body up from the table, grabbing my mom in a warm embrace.  

"I don't know." I whisper. All she does is pat my back and bid me off to bed.  

The white door shuts behind me, illuminating my plain bedroom. Abstract art hangs on the wall but it only compared to the emptiness I feel. Just because something is colorful doesn't mean it's happy. A bright screen pierces the darkness, filling the small cube room, full of light. The annoying ringtone sets off with two loud beats then setting into the music. I picked the song because I thought it was cool, new, fun, exciting; now it's really not, now it just feels like a four year old banging on a drum. The ringing continues for a few seconds before shutting off, leaving me back in the dark. My bed feels softer, making it hard. I wish Paige was here. Lord, give me one more night. I think I could make everything perfect.  

Now the question I ask to myself, is why I'm hung over some girl? I could have let her died, fall into the pond, but I fell with her, grabbing her waist to pull he up, and now that's what I want to grab again. Grab her waist to pull her more towards me, let her hear my heartbeat, that once did beat for her. It just lays in my chest, thumping to the same tune.  

It's not obsessed, it's in love. I'm so in love with this girl, that I forget how to breathe, but slowly I have to learn on my own again.  

Another vibrate escapes the plastic and metal device that lays on my bed. I have a voice mail. I put the phone up to my ear letting it play as I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, bed moving under me.  

"Nathan." She breathes. I sit up, just the sound of this is close enough to her hear. "I'm moving back to Maine because I can't stay here. I love-" I slam the phone shut, screaming in anger, in pain. The door goes opened, letting the fragile women I call mom in.  

"She's moving! She's moving back to Maine!" I cry. My mom stands there to shocked, he hasn't seen me cry, I hardly show emotion to anyone, and everything I built up over the years is out. Fresh tears lay on my pillow, as more slide off my face.  

"She's fucking moving." Mom moves over to my side, cradling my body into hers. It feels like I'm back as a kid, but as I kid I felt unstoppable; now my armors gone, and I'm good enough as dead.