Sleeping With a Friend

Chapter Fifteen

Any tiny, tiny, hope I had that Ashton and I would have a real relationship was just tossed over a cliff along with breath. I sat crouched over my legs on the steps, pretending to fasten a buckle on my shoe for the past three long minutes.

"Y/N what are you doing?" Sophie nudged me with her knee. I saw her out of the corner of my eye take a step over me, holding onto the railing for extra support. "Did you forget where you were for a minute?" She asked me with a chuckle.

"What-uh, no, no." I repelled shaking my head, standing up and continuing down the steps. It didn't feel voluntary, like my feet were detached from my body and just walking away. I didn't want to go back in there and now try to hide the feelings I was so sure about hiding. "I was just fixing my shoe." I told her quietly. We sat back down at the table and I kept a straight face, picking my cards back up.

"You boys didn't cheat did you?" I heard Sophie ask.

"No!" Luke cackled at her. They began their own conversation, keeping Ashton and I out of it. I peeked up from my cards, watching them laugh together and I realized how bad I wanted something like that. They looked genuinely happy together and I envied every moment of it. I felt like I was back three years ago to when Sophie always had a boy wrapped around her finger. Then there I would be sitting off to the side, third wheeling like a professional. Except this time, I had my own set of secrets to keep.

"You alright?" Ashton placed his hand on my knee, startling me and taking my attention away from the couple in front of my eyes. I swallowed hard, gulping the spit that had collected in my mouth.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I told him, keeping the same straight face. "Why would anything be wrong?" I questioned him. I hoped he didn't know I was listening in on his conversation and he shrugged in return.

"You just seem a bit off tonight that's all." There was the sentimental, caring part of him that had drawn me in in the first place.

"I wasn't feeling that well to begin with. I don't know, maybe it's the alcohol." I put together the most typical excuse used in the book, but it seemed like Ashton was believing it. Or at least I hoped he was.

~~~

Of course I had to stay and help Ashton clean up after Sophie and Luke left. It was only the four of us, but I felt responsible for the whole case of beer that we went through that was now empty and sprawled out between the living room and the kitchen. With Ashton and I alone, I could talk to him in a much better way. I was still bitter from what he said earlier, but as far as he was concerned I knew nothing about it.

"So we're friends right?" I blurted, dropping two bottles into the garbage bag and hearing the clinkwhen they hit others. Ashton turned to look at me, a puzzling grin on his face and his eyebrows pushed together, creating a crease in the middle.

"Yeah. Why would you even ask that?" A nervous laugh left his lips, one of the first times I had seen him loose even the slightest bit of confidence. Ashton held the deck of UNO cards in his hand, tapping them against the table to make sure they would fit in the box. I tied the garbage bag and set it down, doing one last scan with my eyes to see if I had missed anything.

"So you would be alright if I started to see someone?" I chewed on my bottom lip, almost hard enough to pierce the skin and draw blood. Ashton's nervous smile turned into a flat line and he shoved the card deck into its box, tossing it on the table. He started cracking his knuckles, making me wonder what he was about to get at.

"Uh, why? Are you?" He asked as if a father torturing his daughter on her first date. I wasn't really going to go out with anyone, I just wanted to see what his reaction would be. After all, he was off limits.

"No. Well I don't know. Maybe." I mumbled the last sentence, crossing my arms over my chest and shrugging. Ashton grew quiet, and so did the room. It was an uncomfortable silence that fell over us until he finally cleared his throat, stepping toward me.

"Are you interested in someone?" He asked. I should have seen this question coming. Truth be told I didn't have an answer for him, a real one anyway. He knew some of the people at work and how I felt about most of them, so I couldn't spew the same story he had told Luke. It seemed like 100 pictures of people's faces were running through my mind all at the same time and as they were moving so fast, only one was stationary right in the middle. His.

"Um," I began with a blush creeping on my cheeks, still trying to think of someone. "Well, I guess there is someone I have been thinking about a lot lately." I didn't mean for it to sound like during sex I had been picturing someone else's face. No, that wasn't it at all. But if I didn't come up with something or someone I'd be screwing myself right there. Ashton tilted his head at me, wondering if I was ever going to choke up a name. "Michael!" I finally said, putting a fake smile on.

"Michael? My friend Michael?" He was asking so many questions I felt like I was being interrogated by him. I started chewing on my lip again and nodded. "Oh really? That's uh, that's cool." His stern tone making me feel more accomplished then I thought I was going to be. I knew I had to play it up some more. Michael was cute and all, and he was the nicest when we had first met.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me his number? I didn't want to say anything in front of the other two without causing some sort of middle school scene where all they have to say is 'Aw! That's so cute!'" I laughed and Ashton looked startled that I would even ask him that. But I still couldn't help to feel proud of myself for putting this together. From the way he was acting, it seemed like Ashton wasn't too keen on this happening, yet I still felt like going through with it.

"He's never said if he was interested in anyone right now." I knew what Ashton was trying to do. He would do all he could to get me to not text him.

"That's because I've barely talked to him!" I grinned, hoping that this would actually work. Ashton didn't say anything.

I didn't want to hurt anyone in the process of this experiment, especially Michael. One date couldn't hurt anything, then after I would just say I wasn't interested anymore. It seemed fool proof.