Sleeping With a Friend

Chapter Fourteen

There was a part of me that every time I thought about Ashton, would only think of tearing his clothes off, a task in which we took turns doing with each other. Then, there was another part of me in which every time I would see his name in my phone, I felt like my heart would skip a beat and I would have to blink a few times to remind myself what I was meant to be doing. This happened often, more than I would have liked it too. What with almost a month since we had become closer, I couldn't risk even the mere thought of having feelings for the boy. I felt like I was going against my own morals in doing so. But then again, I had gone against them in the first place to even do this.

I couldn't tell Sophie, or anybody about this new feeling for that matter. Sophie would just give me a big I told you so and well there was no one else to tell. Eventually this would end, I wasn't sure how or what would happen after it did, but I planned on riding it out as long as possible. Even if that meant suppressing any of these new feelings. Still, the thought of that day on my couch with Ashton stuck with me and I wondered every single day if he was feeling these same things as I was. That day we stayed on my couch, ordered a pizza and watched a few movies. It was one of the first times I didn't feel the need to have sex with him. We were both so comfortable just lying there and talking—that's when I could feel something different towards him. That night he opened up to me, and told me more about his family and life, as I did with him. His mom and dad were separated when he was young, leaving him to become a father figure for his younger siblings. I felt a sense of accomplishment for his mother, there was a special place in my heart for single mothers, and they deserved more recognition in my opinion.

Being the socialite he was, Ashton had taken the suggestion to have a double date seriously and invited Luke and Sophie over for a night. It wasn't really a double date, more like a one-couple-with-two-people-who-fuck-but-no-one-knows-so-they-have-to-pretend-to-not-want-to-tear-each-other's-clothes-off-right-there kind of thing. I had arrived at his house early to see if I could talk him out of it. The whole idea just didn't seem like a good one and I feared by the end of the night our secret would be spilled and not by me. All I could remember was the last time we got together and the fight that occurred afterward between Sophie and I. Having just settled things I would hate to see it break out again, or worse, that this time it be Ashton I'd be fighting with.

"Y/N," He began with an open smirk while sitting back against his couch. The television hung on the wall in front of us and played some sports event. "It's going to be fine. I don't know what you're freaking out about." I took a deep breath. I couldn't tell him that I was scared of Sophie getting drunk and spilling secrets that weren't hers to spill, then I would be screwing myself.

"I just don't think it's a good idea that's all." I said simply with a shrug.

"Do you secretly still hate Sophie or do you not like Luke?" He was serious in asking the questions.

"No, no. It's not that at all." I shook my head.

"Then what?" Ashton cackled. I scanned my eyes around the room to quickly come up with something else to say to him that was anything but the truth.

I shrugged, "Nothing, its nothing." He was still staring at me, licking his bottom lip and dragging it against his teeth. "It'll be fun. I don't really know what I was thinking." I gave him a flat smile that I knew he could see right through, yet he didn't press for anything else. If he would have, I don't know what lies I would spin to him.

~~~

"I swear to god you just peeked at my cards!" I giggled at Ashton as he turned his head from right to left with a look that said "I have no idea what you're talking about!" We were sitting around Ashton's dining room table, deck of Uno cards in the middle. The game wasn't typical, we added a twist to involve the drinking with it. For every reverse card each player would have to drink; for each skip card used, the person that was skipped would have to drink until the one who set down the card told them to stop; for each +2 card, the person would have to pick up two cards as well as take two drinks–the same thing would go for the +4 wild cards. For just having pulled it together, I'd say we were doing a pretty good job. We were about a third of the way through and right now I was in the lead with only two cards in my hand, well I hoped I was.

"Drink Y/N!" Luke told me with a laugh, setting a skip card down on the growing face-up deck. I groaned jokingly, taking a light sip of my drink and everyone around the table chuckled. We went around once more, everyone putting down respectful cards. I found my eyes trailing over to Ashton watching was he kept an eye on the other two players in the game. I could suddenly feel those emotions I had done my best to burry down as far as I could inside of me come rushing back. I tried to take my mind off of it, but I couldn't take my eyes off him as he threw his head back in laughter at something Sophie, who was sitting across from me, had just done, but I was to wrapped up in the person next to me to notice.

Sophie coughed, loud enough for my attention to be snapped to her, "I have to go to the bathroom." She told me as if I knew what to tell her. I gave her a puzzling look. "Come with me." She stood from the table, keeping her cards with her. She walked around the table and tapped me on the shoulder. "Come on." She egged and I watched her walk out of the kitchen. I cleared my throat and stood to follow her, taking a glance back at Ashton and Luke at the table—who didn't look phased by it. Girls are known to go to the bathroom in numbers.

Cautiously I walked upstairs, trying not to stumble feeling the booze throughout my body when I stood.

"Y/N..." Sophie whispered when I walked into the bathroom. She pulled me inside and shut the door behind me, shoving me against the sink. "What the hell?" My puzzled look returned and I crooked my head to the side.

"What?" I whisper-yelled back at her.

"You!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

"What am I doing?!" I inquired, my voice rising.

"You have feelings for Ashton don't you." I kept my mouth parted, my head shaking slowly at first, then fast side to side.

"No I don't." I pursed my lips, staring her dead in the eye. She raised her eyebrow at me and crossed her arms over her chest—the universal sign for I know your lying.

"Then what was with the googly eyes for almost a whole ten minutes? Hmm?" Her eyes went wide as she pressed for more.

"I'm not lying!" I spoke stern, putting all of the dignity I had into this moment. Sophie couldn't know; she already knew too much as it was.

She shook her head in disbelief, "I told you it wasn't a good idea to get into this with him. Anyone for that matter." Sophie mumbled the last part, shaking her head at me like a mother scolding her child.

"Sophie I swear I don't have feelings for him." Lie. "It was just the drink I had." Lie. "I was just starring off into space. I didn't even know I was looking at him."

"Well your lucky he didn't notice either."

"Can I ask why you care so much?' I asked her, sitting on the toilet seat. "I mean it's not like you can do anything about it anyway." I didn't mean to offend her but it was the truth. She couldn't say anything without risk of another argument between us.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt." She told me.

"Okay, but I won't get hurt." I chuckled. The thought of it actually happening actually made me sick. I couldn't imagine Ashton doing something like that to me. "I remember your advice. I'm fine. It's fine. I promise." She stayed silent for a moment and stood from the toiled, walking to the door to open it. "We better get back down there. They're going to think that we fell asleep up here."

With soft grin we left the bathroom and went back down to join the boys. As we walked down the stairs, I stopped on the steps, kneeling down to fix the small buckle on my sandal. When I was still, I could hear the conversation going on between the boys in the kitchen. I moved slow, intrigued by what they were saying.

"So what's up with-you know." I imagined Luke nodding his head towards the upstairs, signaling Sophie and I. "You and Y/N a thing?" He asked his friend.

"No, no man. Nothing going on there. We're just friends." Ashton spoke simply, the words flowing like a waterfall off his mouth.

They continued the conversation as I felt my heart and my hops be taken in his hand and crushed into thousands of pieces.