Run. || Alex Gaskarth A.U.

Chapter 15: Living Is The Worst Part

I'm shaking.

Why am I shaking?

I shouldn't be shaking.

But as I'm shaking, I can feel a necklace bouncing underneath my shirt. The Runaways necklace isn't the only necklace I have, Alex. I have one more. One that I received from a boy who saved me from drowning. A boy who risked everything he had for a girl, dead in the water.

Zack.

That's who saved me from falling into the black abyss of Hell.

Does that name ring a bell? Does it make you shut your eyes and wince in a subtle remembrance? Does his name make you want to pace up and down a dark room where you'll hope no one will catch you?

Remember the Mall thugs? Remember they mentioned a guy named Zack? Well he was the one who fished me out of my death. It appears that it just wasn't my time right there and then, and I had dodged quite a critical bullet.

God, I hate thinking about what could have been. And my necklace from Zack represents just that. My hands are unable retrieve the necklace from where it rests on the skin of my chest, but I know very well that the symbol on the circular charm is a petite snowdrop.

Snowdrops are a flower of hope, Alex. Before I was tied to this bomb, Zack told me that if I ever was in doubt, I was to look at the charm and think of him, and the promises he made me when he pulled me out of the darkness.

He told me that if I ever changed my mind, he would be there, waiting for me.

And that's just something you'd never do for me. I know for a fucking fact that even if I were to steal the stars, the planets and the entire night sky for you, it wouldn't be enough to make you want me like I used to want you.

And that's why you and Zack are so different. That's why you two fell out, isn't it? You two fell out because opposites just sometimes don't attract, right? From what I heard, you're a fighter, and I'm wondering now if that's the influence of the Runaways, but truth be known, you were always a cold and cynical person.

And honestly, that doesn't surprise me at all.

~

The fall was something that I couldn't explain. A part of me felt like it took two seconds to fall--the other part of me told that it took about two thousand years for me to plunge into--what was ultimately--death.

It hurt when I fell in though, and that's one thing I'm certain about. The force of my skin hitting the water so sharply was painful, and it felt like I had broken a bone or two. Still in my state of shock, I didn't resist the waves that pulled me under, and after that, everything went black.

I was dead. How could I not be? If the impact of my body hitting the water didn't kill me, then surely the water filling my lungs would? I was a goner for sure, all because of a boy who had turned out to be a spineless worm who would kill to save himself.

It was all over. The darkness was too black, and all feeling became still. Too still for me to be alive, yet, so noisy that it made my head ache, and surely, if I were dead, I shouldn't be feeling anything at all?

And then all was bright.

I woke up in a flurry of flailing arms, drowned out limbs, and a blurred vision. Somebody was pushing down on my chest, and I was coughing up gallons of cold water. I was in immense pain, and my whole body felt numb, as if a thousand bees had stung me.