Torn // In Stereo (Jakob Delgado, Ethan Karpathy & Chris Lanzon)

31. |

// Chris' point of view //

I don't know how I didn't lose my shit there and then with him. I'm so glad something clever actually came out of my mouth besides starting an argument or yelling. Jakob has been looking at me for the few seconds Ethan has been gone for, but I don't know what to say.

"How did you do that?" He breaks the silence.

"I don't know. I want to punch the crap out of him."

"Are you still going to talk to Lara tomorrow? What are you going to do?" Jakob keeps asking me questions, but I'm honestly not sure. Part of me wants Lara to be happy but the other part is telling me how much he's going to hurt her.

•••

"So basically, if you can work on those scales ready for the second half of your solo assessment, you're going to be fine. In Stereo, Vocal Intensity, I'm going to need to see you after the bell to work out what you're going to do." Mr Johnson concludes the music class as everyone starts packing up their books. (A/N: I forgot the girls were in their music class so please just roll with it from now) The bell sounds and the two groups walk up to the front.

"Okay, guys and girls. I'm not sure how your solo assessment ear training is going to work. I'm thinking that you pick one person to represent the group, and we'll do it that way." Mr Johnson explains.

"I'll do it." Ethan suddenly says, and I'm glad he did. Jakob and I nod and look away again.

"I'll do it!" Laura pipes up and I'm pretty certain no one cares anyway.

•••

Im on the way back to Lara's house for a few hours. I felt bad for leaving Jakob with Ethan before, but then I realised he had Annabelle. There's just this feeling inside of me that's telling me Lara has made a huge mistake trusting Ethan. She doesn't even know that I know about them, but she will by the end of tonight. I'm going to tell her everything I want to say, I promised myself. As the bus pulls up at the stop, I thank the driver and get off, walking the short distance to Lara's house. I hope my parents don't see me, because they don't know I'm up here. Lara opens the door almost straight away and let's me in. All of a sudden, she just hugs me tightly. Neither one of us say anything for a while, but stand there in our hug. I'm not even sure exactly why this is happening, but I like it.

"Thank you for coming." She whispers before pulling away. I notice that something really isn't right with her right now, and I wonder if it's just because she's hiding Ethan from me.

"What happened?" I ask and her eyes don't leave mine. Suddenly I just remember what I was coming here do to.

"Don't look me in the eye when I know you're about to lie to me."

"What?" She asks, stepping back as her gaze falls to the floor.

"I know about you and Ethan, Lara," I start. "And I can't be friends with you if you're still dating him."

"That's not fair! You can't make me choose." She starts to back away.

"Well I am."

"Chris, you're not supposed to know anything. Can we just pretend like you don't?" She tries, and I can't even believe what I'm hearing. The tears are forming in her eyes and for once in my life, I don't feel bad, because I feel them too.

"What? Why would you try to keep this from me? What happened to 'I never want to lose you, Chris, I love you?'" I try not to raise my voice too high because it's starting to crack as the tears clog my throat in the effort to disguise them.

"I do love you, Chris, but I also like Ethan. I don't know, okay? Everything's completely messed up right now." Her tears start to fall down her cheeks as she turns around and walks further into her house. I follow her, wanting to know more.

"Do you know why everything is so messed up, Lara? Because of Ethan! He's come through and messed everything up!" I start to yell, ignoring the cracks in my voice.

"No, Chris! It isn't him, okay! This has nothing to do with him! Get your head out of your ass and stop acting as if you own me. You don't even know me." Lara shoots back, not seeming to care that she has black mascara stains down her cheeks.

"Who's the one that has spent at least one night every week for the past eight years, listening and talking to you about everything? Who's the one who after every time a guy I warned you about breaks your heart, is still here to pick up the pieces? Who's the one who knows you better than you know yourself, Lara? It's not Ethan, it's me. Don't ever say that about me again."

"Chris, stop, please. This isn't Ethan." Lara scrunches up her face slightly but covers it with her hand as she cries harder.

"Of course it isn't. When is your mum getting home? Because I'm leaving. I'll call Ethan, he'd gladly come up here and baby sit you." I let the tears come now as I turn my back. I'm halfway out the room when Lara speaks.

"Chris, my mum isn't coming home."

I don't want to turn around, I don't want to know what that sentence means, but for some reason, I do. The lump in the back of my throat only expands with every step I take closer to Lara. She steps around the kitchen bench and stands about a metre for me, fiddling with her sleeves and she tries to gather the strength to talk again.

"What do you mean?" I ask, giving her a few seconds.

"My mum isn't coming home. For a while, maybe never."

"What..?" I trail off, not really wanting to believe this. They broke up, they actually broke up.

"Last night, I came home and dad was sitting on the couch. Mum had left him, she left us. She's not coming home."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know. I didn't call anyone." Lara continues to stare down at her shoes as I see tears dripping down and soaking into the fabric. Now my own tears are working their way freely down my cheeks, and together Lara and I both rush forward and hug each other again. She sobs into my chest as I hold her tight and try not to start sobbing myself. Somehow I forget all about Ethan and start to not care. She pulls away and pulls my sleeve, dragging me into the lounge room where she sits me down, and then sits down close to me. She swings her legs over mine and I hold her there in that position across my lap as she cries into me again. Her arms are wrapped around my neck as tightly as she dares, and eventually she stops crying.

"I don't want to be with Ethan if it means this can't happen." Lara eventually whispers.

"I don't want to tell you what to do." I reply, hoping she'll be smart enough to work out what I really mean.

"I'll talk to him, but I want you to be there... Ethan just can't know that."

"I love you, Lara."

"I love you too, Chris."

Lara falls asleep in my arms then- either that or she passes out from all of the crying. This doesn't stop me from crying, though, so I stay there and let the tears silently roll down my cheeks. I came so close to walking out on Lara today, and I don't know what would have happened if I had. I'm close with Lara's parents too, and this is affecting me more than I think it should. If my parents ever broke up, I would be devastated. I can't even imagine what Lara is going through.